I love what I do. I really truly mean that. I love being a nurse and taking care of people. I love the physical labor of caring for someone who can't care for themselves. There is beauty in it. Wither its taking care of a wound or teaching a five year old about his diabetes or wiping a bottom on the old and the frail, it's the everyday thing that says "You are caring for one of God's children. You are His hands." It's a privilege and joy even on the hard days.
While I love this job, my true joy comes in a classroom of special needs children every Sunday morning. They are the broken (truth be told, we are all broken just like them but their brokenness doesn't fit in the realm of what is culturally normal or accepted). Some are physically disabled, some are developmentally disabled, some are socially disabled (meaning they don't know how to act around other people) and some are all three. I was asked why I have patience with these kids. I don't know. God has called me to love them for Him. I don't understand it but I will accept it and follow where he has led me. My heart leaps with the Joy He has provided me with these kids.
I often say in my class that it's our job to remember the blessings will always out weigh the challenges. I believe these kids aren't just here so their parents can get fed. They are here in our church because they are an important integral part of our church body. God has called them to be in our family and as such we will love them as He has asked.
Every child should have the word of God in their lives, even if you don't think they understand it, or even hear it. I believe God is bigger than what I can see and His words of love have power and strength in them. I don't want to stand in the way. Jesus is for everyone. I am not a filter for Jesus. I can’t just simply say we love you without also sharing the same words God has given you and me. We are here to share His love- all of it. I call this Teaching by Braille as I usually feel pretty blind in how I am going to reach them, but I ask the Lord to lead and I step out in faith. Most days I feel like I have failed but I continue to believe the Holy Spirit will work in their lives. I may never see how that happens but I will trust the Lord knows how. This has strengthened my faith in so many ways.
This summer we had been talking about creation. I don't have big lesson plans or stories. I am happy some Sundays when they make eye contact. Sometimes there are those who can participate in the story, but most of the time, these kids can’t. Some can’t speak or hear or see or understand or remember what I said five minutes before; I remember though their bodies and souls are broken, their spirit isn’t and just like you and me their spirit needs to be feed too. Nothing is too big for the Holy Spirit; no diagnosis, no disability, no challenge.
As I shared the story of creation, I simply focused on: God created everything, God created them, God loves them, and we love them. I believe in a God who doesn't make mistakes and these kids are not mistakes. Maybe their disabilities are consequences of living in a fallen world but they are not mistakes. They are children who are made in God's image. Our verse this summer echoes the love He feels for these kids:
God saw what He had made; and it was good, so very good.
Genesis 1:31-
God created them and he loves them and while I don't understand why they are made the way they are, I know His plan and purpose is beyond perfect:
It’s good, so very good!
As I am called to love like His Son, I get the privilege of celebrating these magnificent children of the creator of the universe.
Let me encourage you tonight to love big.
Love Big and the Lord will provide.
Love by faith and the Lord will lead.
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