I was struck recently by how many layers of glory God has. It's not like an onion which you peal off each layer and the onion gets smaller and smaller. In God's case as you reveal more layers of Glory, He gets bigger and bigger. I decided to embark on a study of all His Glory...to be come a glory-ologist if you will.
Layer one is this very world we live in. This world which was not created for us but created to reveal the greatness which is God's ability to speak life into existence. Last summer walking with my mom, we had a flock of geese fly over our heads in perfect V-formation. It was almost as if we could reach out and touch them. We could feel the breeze of their wings on our faces. My mom declared "The Blue Angels have nothing on God." The Blue Angels are a group of fighter jets which do aeronautic marvels while ascending to the heavens at 100s of miles per hour. They are quite stunning to watch. Yet, these simple wings flapping together in perfect harmony sang the beauty of our Creator's glory better than any choir or any words that I can find to describe it. His glory was revealed in that quiet, late summer, evening stroll.
Several days later, I sat in my friend's hospice room, together we peaked through the clouds and through the window to watch those very Blue Angels fly over our heads. The room shook with the power of the thunderous jets. My heart shook with the memory of laughters and tears we made together in that room. There another layer of God's glory was revealed, our ability to Love. Our ability to give and receive love is God in us. In the way we treat each other, in the way we love, we have a chance to reveal God's glory here right now. My friend Janine said "I want you to know that your story is of kingdom importance." Her ability to love was God's glory revealed in my life and in this world.
There are so many more layers to come. For truly that is another layer of glory, the mystery of God...His glory that is just around the corner. The promise of eternity. My hope is that I will become a student of His promises, His story and His love, someday to be a reflection of His glory, just like that flock of geese and my friend Janine.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Bob is not my uncle
Bob's not my uncle, he's my hero...except I do have an Uncle Bob. My dad is named Bob and he's an uncle too. But those are not the Bobs I am talking about. The Bob I am talking about, the Bob who is my hero is Bob Costa...no, not that Bob Costa. This Bob Costa.
This Bob Costa is my hero because he loves so well...he is a volunteer with the special needs ministry at my church. Bob loves the kids, not because they have special needs but because they are them. He has this amazing ability to reach them, love them and comfort them. If a child is anxious or upset, often the thing that comforts him is resting his head on the shoulder of this sweet man. What's more, they know he loves them. He has a quiet strength and leadership in how he demonstrates the love of Jesus. He is a mighty worker for the kingdom of God. He loves kids and he loves Jesus. Bob is my hero.
This Bob Costa is my hero because he loves so well...he is a volunteer with the special needs ministry at my church. Bob loves the kids, not because they have special needs but because they are them. He has this amazing ability to reach them, love them and comfort them. If a child is anxious or upset, often the thing that comforts him is resting his head on the shoulder of this sweet man. What's more, they know he loves them. He has a quiet strength and leadership in how he demonstrates the love of Jesus. He is a mighty worker for the kingdom of God. He loves kids and he loves Jesus. Bob is my hero.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Humility is a Verb
Several weeks ago, I helped host a special needs event with some folks at my church. We had about 30 volunteers. I was in awe of one of the other volunteers, her name was Annie. Annie is a photographer for the local papers. She came to take pictures for the event but we ended up not needing her. Many people could have walked away frustrated but Annie went right on helping. If she saw someone needed help, she did it. The last hour of the event, all she did was refill water pitchers. It was one of the most humble acts of kindness that I have seen. Not only was she willing to set aside what she was asked to do, she picked up a menial task and had fun doing it. It was then I realized that humility was not just reflected in the words you say but it is reflected in the actions you take and in what you do.
I carried this thought around with me for several weeks...how to put humility in action. I wasn't sure how to apply this to my life. Then one Sunday, I was worshipping during communion. I stood holding the cup and wafer. The next thing I realized the cracker snapped in my fingers, it was broken. Held in my hand was the broken bread that symbolizes the broken body of my savior...I had broken it. In that moment, I was reminded that is was my sin which brought Christ to die on the cross. His death, his body broken and beaten, was for me, for the sin I commit everyday. I wept for the love, the gift I was given. I wept for the sorrow I cause God, my mighty Father. I was humbled and amazed.
I don't have all the answers. I know that I won't ever be sin free on Earth but I pray I will everyday die to the sin in my life. May I remember the humility of the cross. Humility is a verb. Jesus put it into action and asks that we keep it going.
I carried this thought around with me for several weeks...how to put humility in action. I wasn't sure how to apply this to my life. Then one Sunday, I was worshipping during communion. I stood holding the cup and wafer. The next thing I realized the cracker snapped in my fingers, it was broken. Held in my hand was the broken bread that symbolizes the broken body of my savior...I had broken it. In that moment, I was reminded that is was my sin which brought Christ to die on the cross. His death, his body broken and beaten, was for me, for the sin I commit everyday. I wept for the love, the gift I was given. I wept for the sorrow I cause God, my mighty Father. I was humbled and amazed.
I don't have all the answers. I know that I won't ever be sin free on Earth but I pray I will everyday die to the sin in my life. May I remember the humility of the cross. Humility is a verb. Jesus put it into action and asks that we keep it going.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Broken Hearted
I am often surrounded by those who look and sound different to others. I don't always remember this...so much so I forget that people stare. I forget that kids ask what's wrong with them? Or run away from them...or make fun of them. I cringe when this happens with kids to other kids but I want to jump down the throats when adults do this with kids or even other adults.
I can't even imagine what it feels like for these kids to always have the eyes of others following them. To hear the questions "what's wrong with you?" (which translates "why are you different?", sometimes with an "ooh" gross tagged on the end). To see those around you run away or always tell you what you just did wrong...to be out of place constantly, everywhere.
My heart breaks for them tonight. The pain that other people's brokenness causes is great and sad.
Lord, Tonight I ask you continue to show me the heartache of others. I pray Lord, you grow my compassion and empathy. I ask that you show me the way to loves those around me. Lord, I know my brokenness sometimes smushes in to others. I ask that when this happens you give me the wisdom say I am sorry, the correction to stop it from happening again. Help me love better because I know you love me better. Thank you Jesus.
I can't even imagine what it feels like for these kids to always have the eyes of others following them. To hear the questions "what's wrong with you?" (which translates "why are you different?", sometimes with an "ooh" gross tagged on the end). To see those around you run away or always tell you what you just did wrong...to be out of place constantly, everywhere.
My heart breaks for them tonight. The pain that other people's brokenness causes is great and sad.
Lord, Tonight I ask you continue to show me the heartache of others. I pray Lord, you grow my compassion and empathy. I ask that you show me the way to loves those around me. Lord, I know my brokenness sometimes smushes in to others. I ask that when this happens you give me the wisdom say I am sorry, the correction to stop it from happening again. Help me love better because I know you love me better. Thank you Jesus.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Construction Miracles
Many months ago (more than I would care to remember), the unnamed "them" began to work on a near-by exit. It's a complicated merge of traffic coming from multiple directions trying to leave in multiple opposite directions, lane after lane of cars crossing over each other. The headache that even the idea of this construction caused was too much to handle and I was ready to exit this crazy commuting world I live in. But several mornings ago as I groaned unable to avoid this head-thumbing zone, I was amazed as I eased through it without teeth pulled or the promise of my first born. My first thought was "Oh I guess 'they' were right. Maybe 'they' know what 'they' were doing." These traffic experts saw a problem, went to work and made it better. Yes there was delays, headaches and probably a little cursing but the end goal of ease in traffic had been found. I guessed next time I will have to trust the road construction warriors and believe things can get better.
I saw parallels in my current life too. I am currently residing in a construction zone in that every area in my life is changing. Everything feels like its up in the air. Nothing eases like the newly worked lanes of that complicated exit. I am going to trust the warrior of my life, my God, that He knows what he is doing as He deconstructs and reconstructs my heart. I pray for the day when I can recognize that things are better. And I hope that I will remember that all this reconfiguring will ultimately bring better communication, a closer relationship with my Agape.
He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires, Brought us into hardscrabble country, pushed us to our very limit, Road-tested us inside and out, took us to hell and back; Finally he brought us to this well-watered place. (Psalm 66:10-12 MSG)
I saw parallels in my current life too. I am currently residing in a construction zone in that every area in my life is changing. Everything feels like its up in the air. Nothing eases like the newly worked lanes of that complicated exit. I am going to trust the warrior of my life, my God, that He knows what he is doing as He deconstructs and reconstructs my heart. I pray for the day when I can recognize that things are better. And I hope that I will remember that all this reconfiguring will ultimately bring better communication, a closer relationship with my Agape.
He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires, Brought us into hardscrabble country, pushed us to our very limit, Road-tested us inside and out, took us to hell and back; Finally he brought us to this well-watered place. (Psalm 66:10-12 MSG)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Eagle Wings Outreach
Dear Friends, I have an invitation for you to a wonderful opportunity. Eagle Wings is an outreach program here in Snohomish County that serves the adult special needs population. This ministry provides relational support for adults with disabilities, their families and caregivers. Eagle Wings partners with local churchs to invite disabled adults into the body of Christ. They host 17-18 events annually that focus on the fellowship aspect of following Jesus. We have been asked to host an event for them at New Life Everett.
The director, Kinder, got married this past summer and after announcing her engagement in Feburary, she was inundated with requests from these adults to attend her wedding. It was not realistic to invite an additional 250-300 guests to attend her actual cermony but she really wanted to include these special friends. She asked if New Life would be willing to help in this indeaver. After meeting with Rick and myself and Maureen Furoy (another volunteer), we were excited to say yes! We will be the host of Eagle Wings Wedding on Saturday, October 22nd at New Life Everett. For many of these adults, this will be the first wedding that they have ever attended. Kinder and her husband, Jim, invited any person in the Eagle Wings program to be a bridesmaid or groomsman. They already have over 60 people signed up to date. :) This wedding is truly for them.
We, as the church, know that weddings are special events, even Jesus' first miracle occured at a wedding. We are requesting that you join with us in this outreach, inviting this wonderful group of special people into the body of Christ, as well as celebrating this marriage. We need volunteers to help with setup and cleanup, food prepration and serving, photography, greeting and hospitality, decorations and donations.
The special needs population should not be overlooked. Jesus says in God's Kingdom the last will be first. Joining in this ministry, we will be advancing the kingdom of God as we put this unique group of people first. It's time to discover the wonderful gift that people with special needs bring to the body of Christ and our lives.
For my local friends, would you consider joining in this outreach? Wither it's opening a door or dishing out soup and salad, you will be making a difference. For my friends farther away, mark it down on your calendar to pray for this event, for this sweet couple and these wonderful children of God.
Thank you for your support.
Love Aimee
The director, Kinder, got married this past summer and after announcing her engagement in Feburary, she was inundated with requests from these adults to attend her wedding. It was not realistic to invite an additional 250-300 guests to attend her actual cermony but she really wanted to include these special friends. She asked if New Life would be willing to help in this indeaver. After meeting with Rick and myself and Maureen Furoy (another volunteer), we were excited to say yes! We will be the host of Eagle Wings Wedding on Saturday, October 22nd at New Life Everett. For many of these adults, this will be the first wedding that they have ever attended. Kinder and her husband, Jim, invited any person in the Eagle Wings program to be a bridesmaid or groomsman. They already have over 60 people signed up to date. :) This wedding is truly for them.
We, as the church, know that weddings are special events, even Jesus' first miracle occured at a wedding. We are requesting that you join with us in this outreach, inviting this wonderful group of special people into the body of Christ, as well as celebrating this marriage. We need volunteers to help with setup and cleanup, food prepration and serving, photography, greeting and hospitality, decorations and donations.
The special needs population should not be overlooked. Jesus says in God's Kingdom the last will be first. Joining in this ministry, we will be advancing the kingdom of God as we put this unique group of people first. It's time to discover the wonderful gift that people with special needs bring to the body of Christ and our lives.
For my local friends, would you consider joining in this outreach? Wither it's opening a door or dishing out soup and salad, you will be making a difference. For my friends farther away, mark it down on your calendar to pray for this event, for this sweet couple and these wonderful children of God.
Thank you for your support.
Love Aimee
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Transformers Transformation
I got to see the new Transformers movie this weekend with my family. It was a good shoot-em up, alien, save the world sort of movie. I had seen the first two movies as well. Occasionally I like a movie that is big in the special effects: the kind that makes you think "How did they do that?" I thought this when watching Transformers. It seems like each of the movies they find how to do something more spectacular than the last.
There was something that left me feeling off about this movie though...it was that spiritual heartburn again. (I know what you are thinking...she has spiritual heartburn in a movie about alien robots, but you never know when it creeps up and there isn't a pill you can take for it). There was two alien robots fighting in the movie. One was Optimus Prime. He is the leader of the Autobots, the "good" alien robot race (I like to say alien robots). He comes from a long line of leaders from the planet Cypertron. The movie centers around Optimus finding a energy cell from "the Ark," a ship sent from Cypertron. On this ship was Sentinel Prime. Sentinel Prime was suppose to be a good guy but he formed a pack with the evil Megatron, leader of the Decepticons (I love how it's easy to label good and evil in the land of make-believe...if it was only that simple in real life). In the final battle sceen between Optmus and Sentinel, Sentinel began to question Optimus' decision to protect Earth and it's inhabitants. Sentinel declared "We were gods on Cypertron and you are willing to give that up to protect humanity."
This is where that spiritual heartburn starts to show up. First, I guess I don't like the word "god" thrown around. Hollywood does this a lot but I do this in my own life too and I want to stop. To me, there is only one God and He created everything, including the imagination of the Hasbro creator who made up the alien robot franchise. I would think this was great reason to have spiritual heartburn but then I realized there was a second component...
God chose humanity. He chose to create us and He chooses to love us even when we reject Him, even when we throw around His name and label our cartoon, movie heros' "gods" instead of him. He chooses us. He chooses me. He sent His son to earth in the arms of a teenage girl (not on alien robot spaceships). He did this, He sent His Son to repair our relationship with Him, to make us whole and clean through the radiance of love on the Cross. There is nothing we have done ever to deserve this kind of love, this kind of mercy and grace and sacrifice.
I am so grateful for His gift to us that neither the word "so" or "grateful" seems fitting. I am not humbled enough by His sacrifice and may be that's the true reason I have this spiritual heartburn. Am I taking His love for me for granted? I am grateful that He continues to speak to me daily and even in between special affects of alien robot battles, He reminds me of His ever present desire for all of my heart.
There was something that left me feeling off about this movie though...it was that spiritual heartburn again. (I know what you are thinking...she has spiritual heartburn in a movie about alien robots, but you never know when it creeps up and there isn't a pill you can take for it). There was two alien robots fighting in the movie. One was Optimus Prime. He is the leader of the Autobots, the "good" alien robot race (I like to say alien robots). He comes from a long line of leaders from the planet Cypertron. The movie centers around Optimus finding a energy cell from "the Ark," a ship sent from Cypertron. On this ship was Sentinel Prime. Sentinel Prime was suppose to be a good guy but he formed a pack with the evil Megatron, leader of the Decepticons (I love how it's easy to label good and evil in the land of make-believe...if it was only that simple in real life). In the final battle sceen between Optmus and Sentinel, Sentinel began to question Optimus' decision to protect Earth and it's inhabitants. Sentinel declared "We were gods on Cypertron and you are willing to give that up to protect humanity."
This is where that spiritual heartburn starts to show up. First, I guess I don't like the word "god" thrown around. Hollywood does this a lot but I do this in my own life too and I want to stop. To me, there is only one God and He created everything, including the imagination of the Hasbro creator who made up the alien robot franchise. I would think this was great reason to have spiritual heartburn but then I realized there was a second component...
God chose humanity. He chose to create us and He chooses to love us even when we reject Him, even when we throw around His name and label our cartoon, movie heros' "gods" instead of him. He chooses us. He chooses me. He sent His son to earth in the arms of a teenage girl (not on alien robot spaceships). He did this, He sent His Son to repair our relationship with Him, to make us whole and clean through the radiance of love on the Cross. There is nothing we have done ever to deserve this kind of love, this kind of mercy and grace and sacrifice.
I am so grateful for His gift to us that neither the word "so" or "grateful" seems fitting. I am not humbled enough by His sacrifice and may be that's the true reason I have this spiritual heartburn. Am I taking His love for me for granted? I am grateful that He continues to speak to me daily and even in between special affects of alien robot battles, He reminds me of His ever present desire for all of my heart.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Ruffles & Plaid Reformation
1. I don't like ruffles:
While I may be willing to wear them, occasionally, I am not a ruffle kind of girl. I am ok with this. This does not make me less of a girl. Sometimes a ruffle is just a ruffle.
2. I love plaid (New self-prescribed nicknames: Plaid girl or Princess Plaid):
I have 5 pairs of shoes that are plaid (one is black and white check but I am calling it plaid too) and 3 plaid shirts. This may be excessive but did I mention I love plaid. Plaid is comforting and warm but it also gives me a sense of adventure, like I could take on anything. I am ready to go logging like the Brawny man in his red plaid flannel shirt...I too have the "strength to get the job done."
One of my plaid shirts are from my Grandpa Buzzard's closet. My grandma gave it to me after he passed away. When I would stay at their house (actually when anyone would stay at their house) I would invariably end up wearing one of his plaid flannel shirts to stay warm in or get dirty in. Literally, it became an adventure shirt.
Sigh...I love plaid.
While I may be willing to wear them, occasionally, I am not a ruffle kind of girl. I am ok with this. This does not make me less of a girl. Sometimes a ruffle is just a ruffle.
2. I love plaid (New self-prescribed nicknames: Plaid girl or Princess Plaid):
I have 5 pairs of shoes that are plaid (one is black and white check but I am calling it plaid too) and 3 plaid shirts. This may be excessive but did I mention I love plaid. Plaid is comforting and warm but it also gives me a sense of adventure, like I could take on anything. I am ready to go logging like the Brawny man in his red plaid flannel shirt...I too have the "strength to get the job done."
One of my plaid shirts are from my Grandpa Buzzard's closet. My grandma gave it to me after he passed away. When I would stay at their house (actually when anyone would stay at their house) I would invariably end up wearing one of his plaid flannel shirts to stay warm in or get dirty in. Literally, it became an adventure shirt.
Sigh...I love plaid.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Super Power Dilemia
I was stuck in traffic today...While I live in the Seattle area and this is not all that unusual, I have become somewhat of an expert about avoiding it. When you drive enough, you learn the back roads and traffic patterns. It's been probably a year and 1/2 that I have been so stuck I couldn't get out of it. Today, I was that stuck. As I felt like I wasted an hour and fifteen minutes driving from one place to another, a trip that should have taken me 30mins maximum, I began dreaming about a super power to see far in the distance.
(Let me say I am not one to dream about super powers. In fact, its my least favorite ice breaker question there is...well, that & "What's the one goal you want to accomplish in your life time?" I mean seriously I just meet you and you want to know what's my goals...first learn my name and maybe my favorite color and then we will work up to questions on goals. I digress...on to super powers.)
I thought wouldn't it be great if I could see far far far away. Being so nearsighted that without glasses or contacts I can't even see the chart on the wall with the Large E in the doctor's office , this power sounded really good. I began to think that I would be able to see into the skies, the stars and moons would be so close. I could see around the world, which would be amazing. I could see traffic jams everywhere and of course, then avoid them (as this was the current problem I was dealing with).
Sounds good right?
But then of course, having this new found desire for this amazing super power, I began wanting more. I thought well maybe I could even see into the future too. You know across the "distance of time." Then it set in...that feeling in my gut that said something was wrong. It's kind of like spiritual heartburn, something just isn't sitting right, like bad leftover tuna salad.
And I realized...
That's the original sin: The desire to know what God knows, to know what's going to happen and when; to have the answers...
Sigh...I guess it's back to the drawing board for imaginary super powers...If super sight is not the super power, maybe I could fly or have super speed or...maybe I could realize it's God in me that already gives me super powers: the ability to love, everlasting life, forgiveness for my sins and the ability to forgive others, grace in abundance. I guess that's super powers enough.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Secrets of Belly Laughs
I love my mom! It's as simple as that.
She is quirky and funny, opinionated and strong, stubborn and vulnerable. She is not perfect but she is lovely. We have had our hard times. My uncle, her youngest brother, says this about her: "She loves you and she is a good sister to me even though I give her all kind of crap. Sometimes you need a rock in the storm and that is her."
That's a woman I don't mind being like. My ability to stand strong in my faith is a gift my mother taught me, along with many other things, like jumping in leaves and a love of books and knowledge. One of my favorite things in the world is to travel with her, specifically cross country or long distances. Sometimes i reach across the console and hold her hand. Yes, I still hold my mom's hand. It's my favorite fact about myself.
Her commentary in life is one of the things that makes me laugh even when that storm comes (trust me, in our family the storms come often). I call them little ditties. Some nights they just roll off her tongue. I start to laugh and then she starts to laugh and it keeps going until we are both holding our sides and tears are running down our faces.
Tonight, it started when she asked me a question I had just answered. When I reminded her of this, her answer was
"I can't remember. I probably have it written down somewhere. I just need to find it." For some reason, this caught me by funny. I tell my mom when this happens that I am going to put her ditty on twitter. She hates this but then she corrects my spelling and tells me what she said again so I can remember it correctly. We laugh that she says she doesn't want me to post but will tell me what to say. Once that starts, we are off. She tells me "I am going to leave you by the side of the road with a sign that says Will twitter for free." More laughing and more bantering. What finally sends us into the belly laughs is her finally ditty and declaration: "I need to go to the bathroom when we get home, so I get the downstairs bathroom." I tell her you just called "Dips on a bathroom." She tells me "Yep when you get old, you don't call shotgun. You call dips on the good bathroom."
Belly laughs are good for the soul.
She is quirky and funny, opinionated and strong, stubborn and vulnerable. She is not perfect but she is lovely. We have had our hard times. My uncle, her youngest brother, says this about her: "She loves you and she is a good sister to me even though I give her all kind of crap. Sometimes you need a rock in the storm and that is her."
That's a woman I don't mind being like. My ability to stand strong in my faith is a gift my mother taught me, along with many other things, like jumping in leaves and a love of books and knowledge. One of my favorite things in the world is to travel with her, specifically cross country or long distances. Sometimes i reach across the console and hold her hand. Yes, I still hold my mom's hand. It's my favorite fact about myself.
Her commentary in life is one of the things that makes me laugh even when that storm comes (trust me, in our family the storms come often). I call them little ditties. Some nights they just roll off her tongue. I start to laugh and then she starts to laugh and it keeps going until we are both holding our sides and tears are running down our faces.
Tonight, it started when she asked me a question I had just answered. When I reminded her of this, her answer was
"I can't remember. I probably have it written down somewhere. I just need to find it." For some reason, this caught me by funny. I tell my mom when this happens that I am going to put her ditty on twitter. She hates this but then she corrects my spelling and tells me what she said again so I can remember it correctly. We laugh that she says she doesn't want me to post but will tell me what to say. Once that starts, we are off. She tells me "I am going to leave you by the side of the road with a sign that says Will twitter for free." More laughing and more bantering. What finally sends us into the belly laughs is her finally ditty and declaration: "I need to go to the bathroom when we get home, so I get the downstairs bathroom." I tell her you just called "Dips on a bathroom." She tells me "Yep when you get old, you don't call shotgun. You call dips on the good bathroom."
Belly laughs are good for the soul.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Jesus plays Baseball
I think Disney may have actually gotten the story right for once. There really are angels in the backfield. Saturday night, I had the privilege of watching the most amazing game of baseball ever. Where I am pretty sure Jesus was playing in the infield along with the most incredible kids and a couple pretty cool parents. There is a league here in the greater Seattle area for "special needs" kids. The rules of the game are simple. Everyone hits, everyone plays. Anyone who wants to play gets to play. The kids are out to have fun and just get a little piece of normalcy. It was maybe too amazing to describe: (Won't stop me from trying-Everyone plays!)
One kid was wheelchair bound. His dad brought him to the game, pushed him around the bases, helped him ground a fielder and give high fives. When they were coming home to score, they would do a wheelie over home plate and the sound that moved me was the giggles that erupted from this petite child, no longer limited by his disability (the story gets better because I learned later he was adopted. That may be the bravest father I have ever meet).
The other team also hosted some many amazing talents. I pushed back tears and smiled at the same time when Bob, a blind teenager, came up to bat. He stood at the plate, ready to hit. They used an adapted softball which would beep. Bob was able to tell if it was high or low or right on just by hearing it and believe me he didn't have a problem telling his coach who was pitching if it was too low. He hit every time he was at bat, then his 50-something old coach would run in front of him around the bases and Bob would follow along behind him, smiling and shouting "I got it."
My final excitement was my sweet buddy Dalton hitting a "Home run." Really it was an infield single but this boy likes to run He even out ran his teammates around the bases. Dalton has a trach and compromised lungs but his body has adapted and now he is a speedster. Nothing would slow him down. He thrilled when he learned his dad was able to watch it on-line, even though he couldn't be there in person. I think he started dreaming about the stories he is going to tell about "the night he hit a home run."
The scoreboard said 10-10 in the end. As Dalton and his brothers and I climbed into the car to go home, he asked if a tie meant everyone lost. His big brothers assured him that it meant everyone won. Everyone really did win. The coach said "Everyone touched the ball, everyone that wanted to got to play, the weather was perfect. It was a beautiful night." I am remind of the story of the woman who believed that by touching Jesus' cloak she would be healed. Jesus said "You took a risk of faith and now you are healed and whole! Live well, Live blessed!" These kids took a risk of faith as they stepped out onto that field. They too live well and live blessed!
Yep, I am pretty sure Jesus plays baseball but I know Jesus is for everyone!
One kid was wheelchair bound. His dad brought him to the game, pushed him around the bases, helped him ground a fielder and give high fives. When they were coming home to score, they would do a wheelie over home plate and the sound that moved me was the giggles that erupted from this petite child, no longer limited by his disability (the story gets better because I learned later he was adopted. That may be the bravest father I have ever meet).
The other team also hosted some many amazing talents. I pushed back tears and smiled at the same time when Bob, a blind teenager, came up to bat. He stood at the plate, ready to hit. They used an adapted softball which would beep. Bob was able to tell if it was high or low or right on just by hearing it and believe me he didn't have a problem telling his coach who was pitching if it was too low. He hit every time he was at bat, then his 50-something old coach would run in front of him around the bases and Bob would follow along behind him, smiling and shouting "I got it."
My final excitement was my sweet buddy Dalton hitting a "Home run." Really it was an infield single but this boy likes to run He even out ran his teammates around the bases. Dalton has a trach and compromised lungs but his body has adapted and now he is a speedster. Nothing would slow him down. He thrilled when he learned his dad was able to watch it on-line, even though he couldn't be there in person. I think he started dreaming about the stories he is going to tell about "the night he hit a home run."
The scoreboard said 10-10 in the end. As Dalton and his brothers and I climbed into the car to go home, he asked if a tie meant everyone lost. His big brothers assured him that it meant everyone won. Everyone really did win. The coach said "Everyone touched the ball, everyone that wanted to got to play, the weather was perfect. It was a beautiful night." I am remind of the story of the woman who believed that by touching Jesus' cloak she would be healed. Jesus said "You took a risk of faith and now you are healed and whole! Live well, Live blessed!" These kids took a risk of faith as they stepped out onto that field. They too live well and live blessed!
Yep, I am pretty sure Jesus plays baseball but I know Jesus is for everyone!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Wonderlust be no more
Do you ever begin to question where you are in life? Wonderlust seems to be contagious. Dreaming about "what could be" use to be a favorite pastime. Yesterday though, I found I no longer want "what could be" but am content with "what is."
My job as a home health nurse or my time with the special needs ministry at church, I often find my self loving the unlovable, the ones society want to forget about. And while it would be easy for me compare the differences between them and me, it's the similiarities that always blow me away.
Yesterday, I found my self washing the body of someone who had been so addicted to drugs that they are left scared and mutilated, dying from the inside out from their addiction. I washed the feet of a man who served our country with pride and dedication but is now left in the hands of strangers to care for him. I assisted a woman who had raised children with love and compassion and now found herself living alone and is frightful for the end which is looming. Sunday, I know I will care of a child who does not speak or who does not walk. I will care for a child who hears voices and has delusions about aliens and invasions, who is so angry that he has begun to isolate himself at 8 years old and occasionally lives in his own little world. I will care of a child who can not see. I will care for a child who does not hear. While I can can care for them and say they are not like me, I really see they are the same. They want to laugh and love and live. They are loved by a God who does not see their differences or defects, but see His children and knows the intimate moments of their hearts.
Just like He sees mine...
I went to bed last night, feeling not drained from a long day but knowing I was used by God. My hands were not my own, my heart was expanded beyond my abilites to love. I thank God for the oppurtunity to love. And thank God for knowing the intimate moments of my heart.
My job as a home health nurse or my time with the special needs ministry at church, I often find my self loving the unlovable, the ones society want to forget about. And while it would be easy for me compare the differences between them and me, it's the similiarities that always blow me away.
Yesterday, I found my self washing the body of someone who had been so addicted to drugs that they are left scared and mutilated, dying from the inside out from their addiction. I washed the feet of a man who served our country with pride and dedication but is now left in the hands of strangers to care for him. I assisted a woman who had raised children with love and compassion and now found herself living alone and is frightful for the end which is looming. Sunday, I know I will care of a child who does not speak or who does not walk. I will care for a child who hears voices and has delusions about aliens and invasions, who is so angry that he has begun to isolate himself at 8 years old and occasionally lives in his own little world. I will care of a child who can not see. I will care for a child who does not hear. While I can can care for them and say they are not like me, I really see they are the same. They want to laugh and love and live. They are loved by a God who does not see their differences or defects, but see His children and knows the intimate moments of their hearts.
Just like He sees mine...
I went to bed last night, feeling not drained from a long day but knowing I was used by God. My hands were not my own, my heart was expanded beyond my abilites to love. I thank God for the oppurtunity to love. And thank God for knowing the intimate moments of my heart.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Savoring Twain
At Christmas time, I started reading Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. I read this many years ago but I was struck a couple months ago when I heard some stupid movie or TV characters describing their favorite scene from Huck Finn. I realised I couldn't even remember the scene they described, let alone pick out my favorite part.
I decided I would re-read the book. The only copy of the book I had was my mom's copy from her teenage years. It was the same copy of this classic that she read for the first time and it's the same book I read for the first time many years ago. It is beaten up, the pages stained yellow from age and the spine broken and flapping in the wind. I was terrified to turn the pages, thinking that with each page turned it would disintegrate in my hands. I began reading but my fears out weighed my desire to continue. I eventually got a new copy from B&N. My mom's copy rests at ease back in my book shelf. I know it's sentimental but I can't part with the copy that we both broke our teeth on Twain with.
Back to the reading and really the reason for this post...I wanted to rush through the book, like I do so many things in my life. But I realise the point of me reading Huck Finn again was to pick my favorite part, I couldn't do this if I was going to gobble it up as fast as possible and put the book back down again. So I started just reading 5-10 pages occasionally. I am slowly making it through what I believe to be Twain's master piece. (Yes even more so than Tom Sawyer) Occasionally, I will even read aloud in true oldtime southern accent. "Da widder wat gana 'end me up da ri'ter." I am loving savoring and contemplating on every moment, reading foot notes and antidotes on Twain's word choices, looking up history and cultural references.
I haven't picked my favorite moment but I have a couple that are standing out. I am charmed by Huck and even more so by Twain himself. It's gotten me thinking...What's your favorite book?
I decided I would re-read the book. The only copy of the book I had was my mom's copy from her teenage years. It was the same copy of this classic that she read for the first time and it's the same book I read for the first time many years ago. It is beaten up, the pages stained yellow from age and the spine broken and flapping in the wind. I was terrified to turn the pages, thinking that with each page turned it would disintegrate in my hands. I began reading but my fears out weighed my desire to continue. I eventually got a new copy from B&N. My mom's copy rests at ease back in my book shelf. I know it's sentimental but I can't part with the copy that we both broke our teeth on Twain with.
Back to the reading and really the reason for this post...I wanted to rush through the book, like I do so many things in my life. But I realise the point of me reading Huck Finn again was to pick my favorite part, I couldn't do this if I was going to gobble it up as fast as possible and put the book back down again. So I started just reading 5-10 pages occasionally. I am slowly making it through what I believe to be Twain's master piece. (Yes even more so than Tom Sawyer) Occasionally, I will even read aloud in true oldtime southern accent. "Da widder wat gana 'end me up da ri'ter." I am loving savoring and contemplating on every moment, reading foot notes and antidotes on Twain's word choices, looking up history and cultural references.
I haven't picked my favorite moment but I have a couple that are standing out. I am charmed by Huck and even more so by Twain himself. It's gotten me thinking...What's your favorite book?
Misadventures from Camp Aimee
Oh my goodness. My house is quiet after a weekend of Camp Aimee.
My little buddy Dalton had come for visit and while I am enjoying the peace now, I am also still laughing at what he left behind.
First, Dalton had written me a letter on Friday to give me when I picked him up on Saturday. This letter contained our "Evil Plan" for the weekend. It looks like something out of Despicable Me (which is my new favorite movie-I have watched it 6 times-no kidding). This evil planned involved my new catch phrase- "You crack me up.", TNT (all evil plans involve TNT), farts, Jack the Dog and the FBI. Seriously, it was the perfect evil plan custom made for me and tickled me pink.
Second, I was putting up Dalton's spy kit and found his top secret notebook. On the back was a check list that went like this:
My little buddy Dalton had come for visit and while I am enjoying the peace now, I am also still laughing at what he left behind.
First, Dalton had written me a letter on Friday to give me when I picked him up on Saturday. This letter contained our "Evil Plan" for the weekend. It looks like something out of Despicable Me (which is my new favorite movie-I have watched it 6 times-no kidding). This evil planned involved my new catch phrase- "You crack me up.", TNT (all evil plans involve TNT), farts, Jack the Dog and the FBI. Seriously, it was the perfect evil plan custom made for me and tickled me pink.
Second, I was putting up Dalton's spy kit and found his top secret notebook. On the back was a check list that went like this:
1. Capture Theif- check
2. Kill Enemys- check
3. Save the Crew- check
What a list! I love that all of the boxes had red little check marks because apparently we have accomplished everything on his list here at Camp Aimee.
Finally, I also found the remains from the sticker he picked out for me. He had picked out 3 stickers from the doctors office, 1 for himself, 1 for Isaac (his good friend) and 1 for me. He had picked out Darth Vader for himself, Lightening McQueen for Isaac and a baby monkey for me. Now, I would think this was very sweet except for the reason he chose the monkey for me...Monkey Toots!
Shaking my head now! It's a complement in his head! Cracks me up!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Cheering for Isaac
Celebrations come and go. We mostly celebrate big things. As kids, it's birthdays and holidays every year but as we get older we start to lose that excitement we have for celebrating. We tend to celebrate numbers...like anniversaries and birthdays that have zeros in them. Currently what makes the news is events that involve millions of dollars or a million users or billions of dollars or a billion customers. What is twittering right now is a big win for a football game involving all of the above?
Yesterday, I went to a Special Olympics basketball tournament. Today, I watched the Superbowl with some friends. I went from watching some of the worst athletes to watching some of the best players, I also went from watching some of the best human beings to watching some of the worst. (Don't get me wrong there were some remarkable players on the Special Olympic teams, I would have gotten squashed by many of the players yesterday. There are also some good human beings playing in the Super Bowl today, I know that too. But when a quarterback is allegedly accused of sexual misconduct 3 times in a year and is only benched for a couple of games...it makes me wonder what we value.)
We keep pushing off the celebrations until it "means" something, looking for the one that has enough zeros. Zeros are overrated. Scoreboards are overvalued. We shouldn't wait to celebrate anything. We should celebrate everything and everyone. Winning isn't in the final tally but in the bravery of participants is the true measure of success.
This thought has been running in my head recently: "Be quick to love." God loves us quickly at the moment of our existence without hesitation, even knowing the people we become. I wonder often if I am able to do this as well as I should. I began to think of the person I know right now who does and the one who comes to mind is Isaac, a fifteen year old boy with down syndrome. Isaac is not perfect. He gets over excited, occasionally doesn't listen, says things he shouldn't and likes to rough house (he has three older brothers...need I say more). Isaac is the only one I know who loves instantly without the need to be loved in return. He greets at our church with a couple of young men, who he calls brothers. He instantly has fallen for these boys. Truthfully, Isaac falls for anyone instantly. At Christmas, he came over to my house for an evening, he walks into my kitchen and shakes my mom's hand and says "you're pretty." (This still brings tears to my eyes). When he comes to class on Sunday mornings, he is greeted with a superstar welcome. Many of the kids rush to the door, to hug him or shake his hand or simply jump up and down together to say hi. He walks around the room, shaking hands or hugging kids. He stops and brushes the face of child in a wheelchair, stoops down and says "I love you." Isaac is a giant of a man in a boy's body. His bravery is shown in the way he loves, not in the way he plays any game.
I want to be brave like Isaac.
Yesterday, I went to a Special Olympics basketball tournament. Today, I watched the Superbowl with some friends. I went from watching some of the worst athletes to watching some of the best players, I also went from watching some of the best human beings to watching some of the worst. (Don't get me wrong there were some remarkable players on the Special Olympic teams, I would have gotten squashed by many of the players yesterday. There are also some good human beings playing in the Super Bowl today, I know that too. But when a quarterback is allegedly accused of sexual misconduct 3 times in a year and is only benched for a couple of games...it makes me wonder what we value.)
As I sat and cheered and jumped and yelled yesterday (I am really quite an obnoxious fan when it comes to the kids I love), I was truly amazed. You see when your body doesn't do what your mind tells it to do, or your mind is keeping you so distracted from what is right in front of you...well, other things like scoreboards and points or time clocks and rules just don't matter much any more. Knowing you are loved and valued, that's what needs to be celebrated. I remember watching a kid shoot the ball and miss but look over to their parents who yelled "Good job! Good try!", that child had the biggest smile of contentment and joy on their face. In the 3 games I watched yesterday, there was more celebrations and accomplishments than in any football field in America. For these athletes, trying and knowing those who love them was watching was the most important success. The Special Olympics athlete oath is "Let me win. But if I don't, let my attempt be brave."
We keep pushing off the celebrations until it "means" something, looking for the one that has enough zeros. Zeros are overrated. Scoreboards are overvalued. We shouldn't wait to celebrate anything. We should celebrate everything and everyone. Winning isn't in the final tally but in the bravery of participants is the true measure of success.
This thought has been running in my head recently: "Be quick to love." God loves us quickly at the moment of our existence without hesitation, even knowing the people we become. I wonder often if I am able to do this as well as I should. I began to think of the person I know right now who does and the one who comes to mind is Isaac, a fifteen year old boy with down syndrome. Isaac is not perfect. He gets over excited, occasionally doesn't listen, says things he shouldn't and likes to rough house (he has three older brothers...need I say more). Isaac is the only one I know who loves instantly without the need to be loved in return. He greets at our church with a couple of young men, who he calls brothers. He instantly has fallen for these boys. Truthfully, Isaac falls for anyone instantly. At Christmas, he came over to my house for an evening, he walks into my kitchen and shakes my mom's hand and says "you're pretty." (This still brings tears to my eyes). When he comes to class on Sunday mornings, he is greeted with a superstar welcome. Many of the kids rush to the door, to hug him or shake his hand or simply jump up and down together to say hi. He walks around the room, shaking hands or hugging kids. He stops and brushes the face of child in a wheelchair, stoops down and says "I love you." Isaac is a giant of a man in a boy's body. His bravery is shown in the way he loves, not in the way he plays any game.
I want to be brave like Isaac.
Monday, January 31, 2011
More than "No"
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
I often feel like God needs a new watch. "His Timing" has become dirty words. It's Christian-ease for "I don't think so" like mom saying "We'll see" was "Forget it, Kid!" Sometimes what we want just doesn't match up with what God wants. Why can't we tell each other that? Because even when we hear no, we can hear so much more too.
I recently heard the best translation of Romans 8:28 from Jerry Cook. He was this little 72 year old Grandpa who "brought" (holla) it at a generation conference recently. He said "God is the only one who uses our stupidity and turns it into an open door for us."
I recently had God open a door to healing. I have said before I have a brother with severe mental illness and drug and alcohol addiction. He hears voices, sometimes talks strangely, or behaves weird. He is impatient and doesn't cope well with changes. In fact, he doesn't cope well when things are going good. He doesn't like to admit he needs meds or forgets to take them and instead self medicates with drugs and alcohol. His illness and addiction is destructive to the lives around him and to himself. There are moments of clarity where the old Danny comes out and we see the kind, smart, funny guy who loves us. Those are great moments. They are far and few between sometimes.
At this conference, I went to I heard another man speak. He mentioned Amy Carmicheal who was a missionary to India. She lived in the late 1800s to 1950s. She changed many peoples lives and loved well. This man shared the story of when she was a girl growing up in England, she wrote in her journal that she wanted blue eyes to be like the other girls around her. Then when she was in India, she would sometimes need to hide as an Indian for safety, so she would paint her skin and cover up and all you would be able to see where her eyes, her brown eyes which matched those around her. She wrote "Lord, I see why you gave me brown eyes to hide me amongst the suffering." She was grateful for something she didn't want. She was grateful for hearing "no."
When I was younger, I often wanted a different brother. I didn't want to deal with the problems and frustrations of having someone in your life with a mental illness. I certainly didn't want to deal with the problems of addiction. I didn't want to care he would hear voices or couldn't handle something or stopped taking his meds again or went on a binder. I was tired of all the attention my parents paid to him. I was tired of having my family disrupted because there was something wrong with Danny. I just wanted it to all go away. But God...he had other plans.
While I was sitting there in this conference, I felt God say "Aimee, it's time you were grateful for hearing no. Be grateful for Danny's illness. I put him in your life for a reason. Look at where you are now. Look at how you are using it for My Kingdom. You are reaching families with disabilities because you can relate to the heartache they go through. You can hide amongst the suffering."
Being the disobedient child I am, I said no and attempted to walk away from this giant crater God had created in my heart...I cried for three days. On the third day, I went to church to serve in my special needs Sunday school class. It was the most miserable Sunday morning I have ever had. I had one child have a giant melt down, so much so I had to pull a parent out of service. (First time in four years that has happened because of behavioral issues) Then I spent most of the third service comforting a parent whose daughter had spent the better part of three hours screaming and yelling that she hated her mom, she broke her glasses and accused her mother of abusing her. The mom was in tears, the daughter was in tears and by the end of it so was I.
I wanted to walk away from this all, feeling like a failure. But in the midst of this, something changed. I heard God say no again!
I told the child who had the break down, all the great things I loved about him: how he loves others well, how he was smart and sweet and I loved having him in class. I gave him the choice of coming back with a good attitude and willingness to follow direction. Guess what? He did. He made it through the rest of service and when his mom arrived to pick him up. He asked to stay longer.
I told the mom in tears, that I had been there too. I told her a story about when my parents were both gone for a week and I was left alone with Danny. During this time, he had a huge breakdown. He went to bed one night screaming that someone was trying to kill him and begging me to help him. I stood outside his room, crying, calling my parents, praying his meds would kick in quickly and blaming myself for his meltdown. I told her what I know now, is that the enemy was using Danny's illness to attack me. I told her "Don't let him win. Jesus is bigger than that. He is bigger than any diagnosis and He belongs right in the middle of your relationship with your daughter." I think she felt comforted. We prayed and asked for Jesus' guidance. A pastor prayed with them and comforted them too. Friends gathered around and supported them. Both her and her daughter left calmer than they came in.
Me...I left changed. Even though I don't think I am quite grateful for my brother's illness, I am grateful God can use the events in my life to reach others. I still pray daily for healing for Danny, for healing for my family. I still want that normal brother, I think I would give up just about anything for it. But I am a little more ok with hearing "no" from God. To go further on what Jerry said, I don't think God just uses our stupidity but I think He uses all stupidity. I think He is using the enemy's stupidity in the situtation with my brother. He says "You can't win here, stupid. This girl-she's mine. Her heart belongs to me and I have called her to great things for my purpose. I am winning here."
I said God shook me up. I guess this is jut part of what was underneath. It's still a little bit uncomfortable but "no" feels pretty good.
I often feel like God needs a new watch. "His Timing" has become dirty words. It's Christian-ease for "I don't think so" like mom saying "We'll see" was "Forget it, Kid!" Sometimes what we want just doesn't match up with what God wants. Why can't we tell each other that? Because even when we hear no, we can hear so much more too.
I recently heard the best translation of Romans 8:28 from Jerry Cook. He was this little 72 year old Grandpa who "brought" (holla) it at a generation conference recently. He said "God is the only one who uses our stupidity and turns it into an open door for us."
I recently had God open a door to healing. I have said before I have a brother with severe mental illness and drug and alcohol addiction. He hears voices, sometimes talks strangely, or behaves weird. He is impatient and doesn't cope well with changes. In fact, he doesn't cope well when things are going good. He doesn't like to admit he needs meds or forgets to take them and instead self medicates with drugs and alcohol. His illness and addiction is destructive to the lives around him and to himself. There are moments of clarity where the old Danny comes out and we see the kind, smart, funny guy who loves us. Those are great moments. They are far and few between sometimes.
At this conference, I went to I heard another man speak. He mentioned Amy Carmicheal who was a missionary to India. She lived in the late 1800s to 1950s. She changed many peoples lives and loved well. This man shared the story of when she was a girl growing up in England, she wrote in her journal that she wanted blue eyes to be like the other girls around her. Then when she was in India, she would sometimes need to hide as an Indian for safety, so she would paint her skin and cover up and all you would be able to see where her eyes, her brown eyes which matched those around her. She wrote "Lord, I see why you gave me brown eyes to hide me amongst the suffering." She was grateful for something she didn't want. She was grateful for hearing "no."
When I was younger, I often wanted a different brother. I didn't want to deal with the problems and frustrations of having someone in your life with a mental illness. I certainly didn't want to deal with the problems of addiction. I didn't want to care he would hear voices or couldn't handle something or stopped taking his meds again or went on a binder. I was tired of all the attention my parents paid to him. I was tired of having my family disrupted because there was something wrong with Danny. I just wanted it to all go away. But God...he had other plans.
While I was sitting there in this conference, I felt God say "Aimee, it's time you were grateful for hearing no. Be grateful for Danny's illness. I put him in your life for a reason. Look at where you are now. Look at how you are using it for My Kingdom. You are reaching families with disabilities because you can relate to the heartache they go through. You can hide amongst the suffering."
Being the disobedient child I am, I said no and attempted to walk away from this giant crater God had created in my heart...I cried for three days. On the third day, I went to church to serve in my special needs Sunday school class. It was the most miserable Sunday morning I have ever had. I had one child have a giant melt down, so much so I had to pull a parent out of service. (First time in four years that has happened because of behavioral issues) Then I spent most of the third service comforting a parent whose daughter had spent the better part of three hours screaming and yelling that she hated her mom, she broke her glasses and accused her mother of abusing her. The mom was in tears, the daughter was in tears and by the end of it so was I.
I wanted to walk away from this all, feeling like a failure. But in the midst of this, something changed. I heard God say no again!
I told the child who had the break down, all the great things I loved about him: how he loves others well, how he was smart and sweet and I loved having him in class. I gave him the choice of coming back with a good attitude and willingness to follow direction. Guess what? He did. He made it through the rest of service and when his mom arrived to pick him up. He asked to stay longer.
I told the mom in tears, that I had been there too. I told her a story about when my parents were both gone for a week and I was left alone with Danny. During this time, he had a huge breakdown. He went to bed one night screaming that someone was trying to kill him and begging me to help him. I stood outside his room, crying, calling my parents, praying his meds would kick in quickly and blaming myself for his meltdown. I told her what I know now, is that the enemy was using Danny's illness to attack me. I told her "Don't let him win. Jesus is bigger than that. He is bigger than any diagnosis and He belongs right in the middle of your relationship with your daughter." I think she felt comforted. We prayed and asked for Jesus' guidance. A pastor prayed with them and comforted them too. Friends gathered around and supported them. Both her and her daughter left calmer than they came in.
Me...I left changed. Even though I don't think I am quite grateful for my brother's illness, I am grateful God can use the events in my life to reach others. I still pray daily for healing for Danny, for healing for my family. I still want that normal brother, I think I would give up just about anything for it. But I am a little more ok with hearing "no" from God. To go further on what Jerry said, I don't think God just uses our stupidity but I think He uses all stupidity. I think He is using the enemy's stupidity in the situtation with my brother. He says "You can't win here, stupid. This girl-she's mine. Her heart belongs to me and I have called her to great things for my purpose. I am winning here."
I said God shook me up. I guess this is jut part of what was underneath. It's still a little bit uncomfortable but "no" feels pretty good.
"He hath never failed thee yet.
Never will His love forget.
Oh fret not theyself nor let thy heart be troubled.
Neither let it be afraid."
-Amy Carmichael
Going deeper then catchphrases
I am finding lately that I repeat myself often. Not because of memory issues but because I like to say many things over and over again. I feel kinda like the Beav or Arnold or The Fonz... maybe it has been the influence of TV in my childhood but I am enjoying my catchphrase phase of life.
My favorite is "If you can't see the Son, be the sun." This started out because I live in the grayest place on earth. The sun seems so distant here in the northwest. Whether we like it or not, the gray rainy weather affects us. So I would enjoy putting on a bright color; a sunny yellow shirt would be my way to celebrate the spring yet to come. But then I realized this applies in other ways too. In a time of the world that seems bleak and dreary or in a place it seems to be lacking hope, it's our opportunity to be like Christ, to love or shine the light Christ has planted in us. On dreary days, I am grateful for the holes that line my life...I think God put them there to let the sun out.
I also enjoy saying "Jesus is for everyone." You see Jesus is for everyone because if he is not...well he wouldn't be Jesus now, would he? I see this regularly in the special needs ministry I coordinate at church but I also see it in my everyday life. I am not worth saving and I definitely need help to hold my head up daily. Because of Christ, it gets easier and easier to do so. When I am saying Jesus is for everyone, I don't just mean all of you...I really mean me (man, that sounds selfish and if it wasn't that it's hard for me to believe some days, I would say it was). I struggle with believing in myself, forgiving myself. My friend read me a quote from CS Lewis: "If God forgives us we must forgive ourselves otherwise its like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him." There is nothing higher than God. Jesus is Jesus. He is our savior and He saved each of us in the same way: by dying on the cross and God forgave Him for our sins. I read once that being childlike in your faith is to believe in the definition of who you are in God and knowing that without Christ's love you wouldn't be able to attain the fullness of who you are. I am hoping that daily I grow younger in my faith, that I accept how God defines me and attain it daily, not by my effort, but by the grace of the Man on the cross.
My favorite is "If you can't see the Son, be the sun." This started out because I live in the grayest place on earth. The sun seems so distant here in the northwest. Whether we like it or not, the gray rainy weather affects us. So I would enjoy putting on a bright color; a sunny yellow shirt would be my way to celebrate the spring yet to come. But then I realized this applies in other ways too. In a time of the world that seems bleak and dreary or in a place it seems to be lacking hope, it's our opportunity to be like Christ, to love or shine the light Christ has planted in us. On dreary days, I am grateful for the holes that line my life...I think God put them there to let the sun out.
I also enjoy saying "Jesus is for everyone." You see Jesus is for everyone because if he is not...well he wouldn't be Jesus now, would he? I see this regularly in the special needs ministry I coordinate at church but I also see it in my everyday life. I am not worth saving and I definitely need help to hold my head up daily. Because of Christ, it gets easier and easier to do so. When I am saying Jesus is for everyone, I don't just mean all of you...I really mean me (man, that sounds selfish and if it wasn't that it's hard for me to believe some days, I would say it was). I struggle with believing in myself, forgiving myself. My friend read me a quote from CS Lewis: "If God forgives us we must forgive ourselves otherwise its like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him." There is nothing higher than God. Jesus is Jesus. He is our savior and He saved each of us in the same way: by dying on the cross and God forgave Him for our sins. I read once that being childlike in your faith is to believe in the definition of who you are in God and knowing that without Christ's love you wouldn't be able to attain the fullness of who you are. I am hoping that daily I grow younger in my faith, that I accept how God defines me and attain it daily, not by my effort, but by the grace of the Man on the cross.
Fart and Roses
I went to a hockey game this weekend with 2 of the most obnoxiously adorable kids (or maybe its adorably obnoxious...I am not sure). Mackenzie and Dalton are 10 and 11 years old. They were both excited to go and were telling stories on the way. As we pulled into the parking lot, Dalton announces he farted. I laughed. I can't help it. Farts are funny to me. I told them only in my car would we laugh at farts but I guess I didn't clarify...As we walked to the arena, Mackenzie declared a "Fart and Roses" contest of sorts. Meaning they both would fart and then they would declare who was "Fart" and who was "Roses." I was laughing so hard both kids stopped to tell me to breath (then of course returned to their Fart and Roses contest).
I don't get much.
I am not a big theologian.
I don't understand what it means if you are christian or Christ-follower.
I am not a political officiatato.
I know there is a big to-do in Egypt...I haven't quite figured out why.
My blog has 2 followers, one of them my mother who doesn't read my blog.
I have already declared myself to be a bad speller.
My writing may not sell any books.
My crafts are often crooked and fall apart.
My house is messy often, I never make my bed.
I am not the bestest at anything.
But I will tell you what I do do (I just said do-do) really well. I love. In my conversations with Christ, I ask regularly for the opportunity to love the broken. "Bring me the broken Jesus." The ones who can't talk or walk, the ones who feel rejected or stupid, who are mad and angry and a little lost, the ones who society says doesn't matter. The ones that feel like they don't belong. I will give them a place to belong and share a hope in Christ. That is what I pray.
On Sunday, we had new bean bags in my special needs classroom at church. The kids loved to pile them up and run and jump on them. I call it my classroom but it's not anymore. The kids call it theirs and it truly is. I was sitting with Brandon on the floor, he tells me "You come to my church today." Marcus walking back into the classroom after worships announces "Tada! I am here."
What joy to hear those words "Tada! I am here!"
What joy to laugh along side of Mackenzie and Dalton, figuring out who is Fart and who is Roses.
As cheesy as it sounds, I hope you find your joy, wherever it may be...even if it's in the middle of a Fart and Roses contest.
I don't get much.
I am not a big theologian.
I don't understand what it means if you are christian or Christ-follower.
I am not a political officiatato.
I know there is a big to-do in Egypt...I haven't quite figured out why.
My blog has 2 followers, one of them my mother who doesn't read my blog.
I have already declared myself to be a bad speller.
My writing may not sell any books.
My crafts are often crooked and fall apart.
My house is messy often, I never make my bed.
I am not the bestest at anything.
But I will tell you what I do do (I just said do-do) really well. I love. In my conversations with Christ, I ask regularly for the opportunity to love the broken. "Bring me the broken Jesus." The ones who can't talk or walk, the ones who feel rejected or stupid, who are mad and angry and a little lost, the ones who society says doesn't matter. The ones that feel like they don't belong. I will give them a place to belong and share a hope in Christ. That is what I pray.
On Sunday, we had new bean bags in my special needs classroom at church. The kids loved to pile them up and run and jump on them. I call it my classroom but it's not anymore. The kids call it theirs and it truly is. I was sitting with Brandon on the floor, he tells me "You come to my church today." Marcus walking back into the classroom after worships announces "Tada! I am here."
What joy to hear those words "Tada! I am here!"
What joy to laugh along side of Mackenzie and Dalton, figuring out who is Fart and who is Roses.
As cheesy as it sounds, I hope you find your joy, wherever it may be...even if it's in the middle of a Fart and Roses contest.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Questions to demonstrate
This weekend I went to a conference on building leaders to reach the next generation from Kids to College. Wow wow Wubzie. I had one of those moments...I really think God may have moved my chair or something. I wanted to look around and see if it was the whole room or just me. I am going to wait and give you more info on that heart shaking later...for now here is a rundown on the weekend.
First, I didn't think I fit in this conference. Special needs ministry is growing but it doesn't really have a catagory it fits in. I did realize though I have every generation in my ministry. I have kids from preschool, elementary, junior high and high school. Plus the majority of the volunteers are college age. Then lets talk about the grandmothers who help in the ministry too. It's a roundhouse of generations. While it may not fit in a box as a traditional ministry, I seriously needed to hear the messages spoken...
It kicked off with sweet worship. There were 3 speakers with a break out session on the 4 ministries-Children's, Junior High, High School and College age. A huge time was spent fellowship-ing (business people call it networking, I call it standing around and chatting, Christians are good at that...me-not so much). This wasn't so much a how to find leaders conference but rather a reach down in the heart of leaders and stir them up kind of conference. We all need to be shaken and stirred occasionally and I think a little bit of both went on. Especially since each speaker left me with questions instead of answers.
Friday night was Kurt Harlow from Chi Alpha. He has spoken at New Life a couple of times. Very funny, funny man. He told many jokes. Talking with him later, he said there was a young man who sat in the front row and every time he laughed he wanted to tell another joke. A receptive audience is a great catapult.
Saturday morning was Jerry Cook. He is 72 years old, an author and grandfather. (OK so I might be a sucker for white haired men- they remind me of my grandfather-but he was my favorite). His passion was not weakened by age but rather his deliverance was strengthened by revelation. He ended to a standing ovation from a bunch of punk youth ministers who I'd say 75% were under the age of 30. Apparently the generation gap is way over there and we passed it up a long time ago. Passion in Christ is ageless.
Saturday afternoon we heard from Chad Veach. He is young man who pastors junior high, high school and college down in Pulayup. While he was going to college, he was a youth pastor at a church in East LA. There was a question and answer time before each message and the young man who introduced him asked him "What's it like going from gangsta to 4H?" He grew up in the foursquare church. His father is now running the foursquare district office for the northwest. My friend described his dad as the pastor to the pastors. Chad was excited to speak and made lots of inside jokes but at the heart was a passion encouraging young leaders to strive for a Godly standard (I am not talking about striving for perfection but rather striving for the ability to make God poppa-proud).
I said that each speaker left me with more questions but they are not questions in like I have to go seek the answers but rather questions I hope my actions are demonstrating.
From Chad Veach: He gave us a run down he called 10 Essentials for Leadership (Faith, Bible time, Prayer, Character, Patience, Humility, Work ethic, Honor, Love, Friends and Family). My questions at the end were Am I seeking these traits, Am I asking for them, Am I making them a priority in my life.
From Jerry Cook: 4 questions:
1. Did Jesus ask me to do this?
2. Are you leaving something for the next generations heart?
3. How many people can you ask for what is really in your heart?
4. Are you asking what Jesus asked-"Is there anything I can do for you?"
From Kurt Harlow: just one question that went to the heart of special needs ministry:
What is the assumption of every child in your ministry? (Translation: what do you know to be true about every child.)
It was a good conference and if I just had these questions and thoughts to ponder on for the coming season, it would have been a successful weekend. But in the midst of all these questions, God took a moment to turn my heart in another direction...Give me a couple more days and I think I will be able to share what that means...like I said I am not an out loud processor.
First, I didn't think I fit in this conference. Special needs ministry is growing but it doesn't really have a catagory it fits in. I did realize though I have every generation in my ministry. I have kids from preschool, elementary, junior high and high school. Plus the majority of the volunteers are college age. Then lets talk about the grandmothers who help in the ministry too. It's a roundhouse of generations. While it may not fit in a box as a traditional ministry, I seriously needed to hear the messages spoken...
It kicked off with sweet worship. There were 3 speakers with a break out session on the 4 ministries-Children's, Junior High, High School and College age. A huge time was spent fellowship-ing (business people call it networking, I call it standing around and chatting, Christians are good at that...me-not so much). This wasn't so much a how to find leaders conference but rather a reach down in the heart of leaders and stir them up kind of conference. We all need to be shaken and stirred occasionally and I think a little bit of both went on. Especially since each speaker left me with questions instead of answers.
Friday night was Kurt Harlow from Chi Alpha. He has spoken at New Life a couple of times. Very funny, funny man. He told many jokes. Talking with him later, he said there was a young man who sat in the front row and every time he laughed he wanted to tell another joke. A receptive audience is a great catapult.
Saturday morning was Jerry Cook. He is 72 years old, an author and grandfather. (OK so I might be a sucker for white haired men- they remind me of my grandfather-but he was my favorite). His passion was not weakened by age but rather his deliverance was strengthened by revelation. He ended to a standing ovation from a bunch of punk youth ministers who I'd say 75% were under the age of 30. Apparently the generation gap is way over there and we passed it up a long time ago. Passion in Christ is ageless.
Saturday afternoon we heard from Chad Veach. He is young man who pastors junior high, high school and college down in Pulayup. While he was going to college, he was a youth pastor at a church in East LA. There was a question and answer time before each message and the young man who introduced him asked him "What's it like going from gangsta to 4H?" He grew up in the foursquare church. His father is now running the foursquare district office for the northwest. My friend described his dad as the pastor to the pastors. Chad was excited to speak and made lots of inside jokes but at the heart was a passion encouraging young leaders to strive for a Godly standard (I am not talking about striving for perfection but rather striving for the ability to make God poppa-proud).
I said that each speaker left me with more questions but they are not questions in like I have to go seek the answers but rather questions I hope my actions are demonstrating.
From Chad Veach: He gave us a run down he called 10 Essentials for Leadership (Faith, Bible time, Prayer, Character, Patience, Humility, Work ethic, Honor, Love, Friends and Family). My questions at the end were Am I seeking these traits, Am I asking for them, Am I making them a priority in my life.
From Jerry Cook: 4 questions:
1. Did Jesus ask me to do this?
2. Are you leaving something for the next generations heart?
3. How many people can you ask for what is really in your heart?
4. Are you asking what Jesus asked-"Is there anything I can do for you?"
From Kurt Harlow: just one question that went to the heart of special needs ministry:
What is the assumption of every child in your ministry? (Translation: what do you know to be true about every child.)
It was a good conference and if I just had these questions and thoughts to ponder on for the coming season, it would have been a successful weekend. But in the midst of all these questions, God took a moment to turn my heart in another direction...Give me a couple more days and I think I will be able to share what that means...like I said I am not an out loud processor.
Snow Globes and Tears
I have laughed really hard this last several days. There has been some knee slapping going on (both figuratively and actually). Funny people in my life this weekend: Kurt Harlow (addddddddd), Maryann Cates (you know why!), Jamie Johns (the Liz Lemon of Everett), my mom (who cuts with paper...yeah that's right she does) and Betty White (she will always make me laugh).
I have also had 3 days of tears...I feel like God just took me and shook me like a snow globe...not just a little bit of shake either, where he just shook it back and forth, made all the snow just go up and fall back down in the exact same spot. No, pretty much He turned me up side down in figure 8 motion until ever little bit of me has fallen into a different spot...
I am grateful He's a God who shakes things up. He knows what's underneath that needs to be uncovered. Sometimes though, it takes a while to process all the beauty in it.
I am not an out loud processor. I wish I was because in many ways that would be so much easier. But I am not. I will take this in, the laughter and the tears and the snow globe movement. Sigh...I am not sure I know what to do with it but...
I always liked snow globes. They are so pretty and sparkly.
I have also had 3 days of tears...I feel like God just took me and shook me like a snow globe...not just a little bit of shake either, where he just shook it back and forth, made all the snow just go up and fall back down in the exact same spot. No, pretty much He turned me up side down in figure 8 motion until ever little bit of me has fallen into a different spot...
I am grateful He's a God who shakes things up. He knows what's underneath that needs to be uncovered. Sometimes though, it takes a while to process all the beauty in it.
I am not an out loud processor. I wish I was because in many ways that would be so much easier. But I am not. I will take this in, the laughter and the tears and the snow globe movement. Sigh...I am not sure I know what to do with it but...
I always liked snow globes. They are so pretty and sparkly.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Look back, Look forward, Carry on
Oh, my sweet little blog! How I have missed you. We have had computer...issues, shall we say. Finally things are on the up and up for the home computers. I am excited to have my little voice back. Having been surving on my iphone for the past 3 weeks, I have realised I don't like blogging on my phone. I have done it but I like the look of the computer screen and the feel of the keyboard to be the voice to my written words.
Can I say I found everything in 2010 difficult? I am so tired of 2010. I am glad it's in the past and I am going to start out liking 2011 just on the principal that it's not 2010. Starting a new year. Do I think things will magically be easier? Not really. Do I want to forget the past year? No, not really either. I am just ready to trust in the hope my Lord has provided and deal with new problems. What a great attitude to start the year with? "Deal with new problems." Let me go back to that first statement "trust in the hope my Lord has provided." Let's just pretend I didn't say that latter part. Ok? Ok.
So...to honor the new year...let me look back at my favorite verse of 2010 and look forward to a verse the Lord keeps putting in my path:
My favorite verse 2010:
"Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner." 1 Peter 4:12-13
God's glory is magnificent and the #1 lesson I have learned this last year is that God's Glory is totally worth the difficulties and bumps of this world. It's greater than my tears and my heartbreaks. It should be my fuel in times when I am in the fire...Maybe 2010 isn't all bad because that is a great lesson to have in my arsenal. Just looking back on my journal and blog (see Swimming in Liquid Glory) from the time I have spent on this verse makes me look forward to the trials of the next year.
...which leads me to the verse that has resonated in my heart these first few days of 2011:
"I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world." John 16:33
I read this and I just sigh...with contentment...with anxiety...with heartbreak...with dream lust in my eyes...with a renewed hope in Jesus' veracity...
This has been my journal entry every other night for the last week and a half. Tonight I just want to focus on the strength of Jesus' words. We (us humanites) have been trying to conquer the world since the very begining but here is the one man who accomplished it and he offers me peace. I am going to take it up and carry it with me all of 2011...
Carry on friends!
Can I say I found everything in 2010 difficult? I am so tired of 2010. I am glad it's in the past and I am going to start out liking 2011 just on the principal that it's not 2010. Starting a new year. Do I think things will magically be easier? Not really. Do I want to forget the past year? No, not really either. I am just ready to trust in the hope my Lord has provided and deal with new problems. What a great attitude to start the year with? "Deal with new problems." Let me go back to that first statement "trust in the hope my Lord has provided." Let's just pretend I didn't say that latter part. Ok? Ok.
So...to honor the new year...let me look back at my favorite verse of 2010 and look forward to a verse the Lord keeps putting in my path:
My favorite verse 2010:
"Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner." 1 Peter 4:12-13
God's glory is magnificent and the #1 lesson I have learned this last year is that God's Glory is totally worth the difficulties and bumps of this world. It's greater than my tears and my heartbreaks. It should be my fuel in times when I am in the fire...Maybe 2010 isn't all bad because that is a great lesson to have in my arsenal. Just looking back on my journal and blog (see Swimming in Liquid Glory) from the time I have spent on this verse makes me look forward to the trials of the next year.
...which leads me to the verse that has resonated in my heart these first few days of 2011:
"I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world." John 16:33
I read this and I just sigh...with contentment...with anxiety...with heartbreak...with dream lust in my eyes...with a renewed hope in Jesus' veracity...
This has been my journal entry every other night for the last week and a half. Tonight I just want to focus on the strength of Jesus' words. We (us humanites) have been trying to conquer the world since the very begining but here is the one man who accomplished it and he offers me peace. I am going to take it up and carry it with me all of 2011...
Carry on friends!
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