Getting lost in the In-Between

The serpent told the Woman, "You won't die.
God knows that the moment you eat from that tree,
you'll see what's really going on. You'll be
just like God, knowing everything, ranging
all the way from good to evil."
Genesis 3:4-5

The other day, I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulder. Seeing sick people, weeping for those who are hurting, caring for those around me. Sometimes I am too capable for my own good (sigh). I know God didn't create me to bare that burden. It is his and his alone but many times I forget and get lost in the heartache that surrounds us.

The deception Satan sometimes traps me in is that gray area where I am able to take care for so many things that I forget that total reliance on God which he calls us to be in ALL THE TIME. I tend to call out to God in despiration at the bottom of the bottom or praise on top of the mountain. But when I am in the hurry of my day or week or moment, I will many times think to myself "I have to do this and this and this." And lately I am finding God say where am in I in that list? I am not talking about spending time in the word or pray, I am talking about the constant list of things we have to-do.

Does He really care what kind of toothpaste I brush my teeth with or what I am cooking for dinner or the never-ending little decisions I chose that make up my day?

My God wants every detail of my life. He has provided for it. While I want to be what he wants me to be, I am struggling with this.

Seek the Kingdom of God
above all else, and live righteously,
and he will give you everything you need.
Matthew 6:33

He pays even greater attention to you,
down to the last detail—even numbering
the hairs on your head!
Matthew 10:30

I know eventually he will provide me with way to move my head knowledge to my heart knowledge but this is where I am now. Struggling, getting lost in the in-between of the day to day. Learning how to be less capable.

Lord,
I'll wait for you.
I am counting on you.
Aimee