Do you ever begin to question where you are in life? Wonderlust seems to be contagious. Dreaming about "what could be" use to be a favorite pastime. Yesterday though, I found I no longer want "what could be" but am content with "what is."
My job as a home health nurse or my time with the special needs ministry at church, I often find my self loving the unlovable, the ones society want to forget about. And while it would be easy for me compare the differences between them and me, it's the similiarities that always blow me away.
Yesterday, I found my self washing the body of someone who had been so addicted to drugs that they are left scared and mutilated, dying from the inside out from their addiction. I washed the feet of a man who served our country with pride and dedication but is now left in the hands of strangers to care for him. I assisted a woman who had raised children with love and compassion and now found herself living alone and is frightful for the end which is looming. Sunday, I know I will care of a child who does not speak or who does not walk. I will care for a child who hears voices and has delusions about aliens and invasions, who is so angry that he has begun to isolate himself at 8 years old and occasionally lives in his own little world. I will care of a child who can not see. I will care for a child who does not hear. While I can can care for them and say they are not like me, I really see they are the same. They want to laugh and love and live. They are loved by a God who does not see their differences or defects, but see His children and knows the intimate moments of their hearts.
Just like He sees mine...
I went to bed last night, feeling not drained from a long day but knowing I was used by God. My hands were not my own, my heart was expanded beyond my abilites to love. I thank God for the oppurtunity to love. And thank God for knowing the intimate moments of my heart.
Showing posts with label special needs ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label special needs ministry. Show all posts
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Misadventures from Camp Aimee
Oh my goodness. My house is quiet after a weekend of Camp Aimee.
My little buddy Dalton had come for visit and while I am enjoying the peace now, I am also still laughing at what he left behind.
First, Dalton had written me a letter on Friday to give me when I picked him up on Saturday. This letter contained our "Evil Plan" for the weekend. It looks like something out of Despicable Me (which is my new favorite movie-I have watched it 6 times-no kidding). This evil planned involved my new catch phrase- "You crack me up.", TNT (all evil plans involve TNT), farts, Jack the Dog and the FBI. Seriously, it was the perfect evil plan custom made for me and tickled me pink.
Second, I was putting up Dalton's spy kit and found his top secret notebook. On the back was a check list that went like this:
My little buddy Dalton had come for visit and while I am enjoying the peace now, I am also still laughing at what he left behind.
First, Dalton had written me a letter on Friday to give me when I picked him up on Saturday. This letter contained our "Evil Plan" for the weekend. It looks like something out of Despicable Me (which is my new favorite movie-I have watched it 6 times-no kidding). This evil planned involved my new catch phrase- "You crack me up.", TNT (all evil plans involve TNT), farts, Jack the Dog and the FBI. Seriously, it was the perfect evil plan custom made for me and tickled me pink.
Second, I was putting up Dalton's spy kit and found his top secret notebook. On the back was a check list that went like this:
1. Capture Theif- check
2. Kill Enemys- check
3. Save the Crew- check
What a list! I love that all of the boxes had red little check marks because apparently we have accomplished everything on his list here at Camp Aimee.
Finally, I also found the remains from the sticker he picked out for me. He had picked out 3 stickers from the doctors office, 1 for himself, 1 for Isaac (his good friend) and 1 for me. He had picked out Darth Vader for himself, Lightening McQueen for Isaac and a baby monkey for me. Now, I would think this was very sweet except for the reason he chose the monkey for me...Monkey Toots!
Shaking my head now! It's a complement in his head! Cracks me up!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Cheering for Isaac
Celebrations come and go. We mostly celebrate big things. As kids, it's birthdays and holidays every year but as we get older we start to lose that excitement we have for celebrating. We tend to celebrate numbers...like anniversaries and birthdays that have zeros in them. Currently what makes the news is events that involve millions of dollars or a million users or billions of dollars or a billion customers. What is twittering right now is a big win for a football game involving all of the above?
Yesterday, I went to a Special Olympics basketball tournament. Today, I watched the Superbowl with some friends. I went from watching some of the worst athletes to watching some of the best players, I also went from watching some of the best human beings to watching some of the worst. (Don't get me wrong there were some remarkable players on the Special Olympic teams, I would have gotten squashed by many of the players yesterday. There are also some good human beings playing in the Super Bowl today, I know that too. But when a quarterback is allegedly accused of sexual misconduct 3 times in a year and is only benched for a couple of games...it makes me wonder what we value.)
We keep pushing off the celebrations until it "means" something, looking for the one that has enough zeros. Zeros are overrated. Scoreboards are overvalued. We shouldn't wait to celebrate anything. We should celebrate everything and everyone. Winning isn't in the final tally but in the bravery of participants is the true measure of success.
This thought has been running in my head recently: "Be quick to love." God loves us quickly at the moment of our existence without hesitation, even knowing the people we become. I wonder often if I am able to do this as well as I should. I began to think of the person I know right now who does and the one who comes to mind is Isaac, a fifteen year old boy with down syndrome. Isaac is not perfect. He gets over excited, occasionally doesn't listen, says things he shouldn't and likes to rough house (he has three older brothers...need I say more). Isaac is the only one I know who loves instantly without the need to be loved in return. He greets at our church with a couple of young men, who he calls brothers. He instantly has fallen for these boys. Truthfully, Isaac falls for anyone instantly. At Christmas, he came over to my house for an evening, he walks into my kitchen and shakes my mom's hand and says "you're pretty." (This still brings tears to my eyes). When he comes to class on Sunday mornings, he is greeted with a superstar welcome. Many of the kids rush to the door, to hug him or shake his hand or simply jump up and down together to say hi. He walks around the room, shaking hands or hugging kids. He stops and brushes the face of child in a wheelchair, stoops down and says "I love you." Isaac is a giant of a man in a boy's body. His bravery is shown in the way he loves, not in the way he plays any game.
I want to be brave like Isaac.
Yesterday, I went to a Special Olympics basketball tournament. Today, I watched the Superbowl with some friends. I went from watching some of the worst athletes to watching some of the best players, I also went from watching some of the best human beings to watching some of the worst. (Don't get me wrong there were some remarkable players on the Special Olympic teams, I would have gotten squashed by many of the players yesterday. There are also some good human beings playing in the Super Bowl today, I know that too. But when a quarterback is allegedly accused of sexual misconduct 3 times in a year and is only benched for a couple of games...it makes me wonder what we value.)
As I sat and cheered and jumped and yelled yesterday (I am really quite an obnoxious fan when it comes to the kids I love), I was truly amazed. You see when your body doesn't do what your mind tells it to do, or your mind is keeping you so distracted from what is right in front of you...well, other things like scoreboards and points or time clocks and rules just don't matter much any more. Knowing you are loved and valued, that's what needs to be celebrated. I remember watching a kid shoot the ball and miss but look over to their parents who yelled "Good job! Good try!", that child had the biggest smile of contentment and joy on their face. In the 3 games I watched yesterday, there was more celebrations and accomplishments than in any football field in America. For these athletes, trying and knowing those who love them was watching was the most important success. The Special Olympics athlete oath is "Let me win. But if I don't, let my attempt be brave."
We keep pushing off the celebrations until it "means" something, looking for the one that has enough zeros. Zeros are overrated. Scoreboards are overvalued. We shouldn't wait to celebrate anything. We should celebrate everything and everyone. Winning isn't in the final tally but in the bravery of participants is the true measure of success.
This thought has been running in my head recently: "Be quick to love." God loves us quickly at the moment of our existence without hesitation, even knowing the people we become. I wonder often if I am able to do this as well as I should. I began to think of the person I know right now who does and the one who comes to mind is Isaac, a fifteen year old boy with down syndrome. Isaac is not perfect. He gets over excited, occasionally doesn't listen, says things he shouldn't and likes to rough house (he has three older brothers...need I say more). Isaac is the only one I know who loves instantly without the need to be loved in return. He greets at our church with a couple of young men, who he calls brothers. He instantly has fallen for these boys. Truthfully, Isaac falls for anyone instantly. At Christmas, he came over to my house for an evening, he walks into my kitchen and shakes my mom's hand and says "you're pretty." (This still brings tears to my eyes). When he comes to class on Sunday mornings, he is greeted with a superstar welcome. Many of the kids rush to the door, to hug him or shake his hand or simply jump up and down together to say hi. He walks around the room, shaking hands or hugging kids. He stops and brushes the face of child in a wheelchair, stoops down and says "I love you." Isaac is a giant of a man in a boy's body. His bravery is shown in the way he loves, not in the way he plays any game.
I want to be brave like Isaac.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Questions to demonstrate
This weekend I went to a conference on building leaders to reach the next generation from Kids to College. Wow wow Wubzie. I had one of those moments...I really think God may have moved my chair or something. I wanted to look around and see if it was the whole room or just me. I am going to wait and give you more info on that heart shaking later...for now here is a rundown on the weekend.
First, I didn't think I fit in this conference. Special needs ministry is growing but it doesn't really have a catagory it fits in. I did realize though I have every generation in my ministry. I have kids from preschool, elementary, junior high and high school. Plus the majority of the volunteers are college age. Then lets talk about the grandmothers who help in the ministry too. It's a roundhouse of generations. While it may not fit in a box as a traditional ministry, I seriously needed to hear the messages spoken...
It kicked off with sweet worship. There were 3 speakers with a break out session on the 4 ministries-Children's, Junior High, High School and College age. A huge time was spent fellowship-ing (business people call it networking, I call it standing around and chatting, Christians are good at that...me-not so much). This wasn't so much a how to find leaders conference but rather a reach down in the heart of leaders and stir them up kind of conference. We all need to be shaken and stirred occasionally and I think a little bit of both went on. Especially since each speaker left me with questions instead of answers.
Friday night was Kurt Harlow from Chi Alpha. He has spoken at New Life a couple of times. Very funny, funny man. He told many jokes. Talking with him later, he said there was a young man who sat in the front row and every time he laughed he wanted to tell another joke. A receptive audience is a great catapult.
Saturday morning was Jerry Cook. He is 72 years old, an author and grandfather. (OK so I might be a sucker for white haired men- they remind me of my grandfather-but he was my favorite). His passion was not weakened by age but rather his deliverance was strengthened by revelation. He ended to a standing ovation from a bunch of punk youth ministers who I'd say 75% were under the age of 30. Apparently the generation gap is way over there and we passed it up a long time ago. Passion in Christ is ageless.
Saturday afternoon we heard from Chad Veach. He is young man who pastors junior high, high school and college down in Pulayup. While he was going to college, he was a youth pastor at a church in East LA. There was a question and answer time before each message and the young man who introduced him asked him "What's it like going from gangsta to 4H?" He grew up in the foursquare church. His father is now running the foursquare district office for the northwest. My friend described his dad as the pastor to the pastors. Chad was excited to speak and made lots of inside jokes but at the heart was a passion encouraging young leaders to strive for a Godly standard (I am not talking about striving for perfection but rather striving for the ability to make God poppa-proud).
I said that each speaker left me with more questions but they are not questions in like I have to go seek the answers but rather questions I hope my actions are demonstrating.
From Chad Veach: He gave us a run down he called 10 Essentials for Leadership (Faith, Bible time, Prayer, Character, Patience, Humility, Work ethic, Honor, Love, Friends and Family). My questions at the end were Am I seeking these traits, Am I asking for them, Am I making them a priority in my life.
From Jerry Cook: 4 questions:
1. Did Jesus ask me to do this?
2. Are you leaving something for the next generations heart?
3. How many people can you ask for what is really in your heart?
4. Are you asking what Jesus asked-"Is there anything I can do for you?"
From Kurt Harlow: just one question that went to the heart of special needs ministry:
What is the assumption of every child in your ministry? (Translation: what do you know to be true about every child.)
It was a good conference and if I just had these questions and thoughts to ponder on for the coming season, it would have been a successful weekend. But in the midst of all these questions, God took a moment to turn my heart in another direction...Give me a couple more days and I think I will be able to share what that means...like I said I am not an out loud processor.
First, I didn't think I fit in this conference. Special needs ministry is growing but it doesn't really have a catagory it fits in. I did realize though I have every generation in my ministry. I have kids from preschool, elementary, junior high and high school. Plus the majority of the volunteers are college age. Then lets talk about the grandmothers who help in the ministry too. It's a roundhouse of generations. While it may not fit in a box as a traditional ministry, I seriously needed to hear the messages spoken...
It kicked off with sweet worship. There were 3 speakers with a break out session on the 4 ministries-Children's, Junior High, High School and College age. A huge time was spent fellowship-ing (business people call it networking, I call it standing around and chatting, Christians are good at that...me-not so much). This wasn't so much a how to find leaders conference but rather a reach down in the heart of leaders and stir them up kind of conference. We all need to be shaken and stirred occasionally and I think a little bit of both went on. Especially since each speaker left me with questions instead of answers.
Friday night was Kurt Harlow from Chi Alpha. He has spoken at New Life a couple of times. Very funny, funny man. He told many jokes. Talking with him later, he said there was a young man who sat in the front row and every time he laughed he wanted to tell another joke. A receptive audience is a great catapult.
Saturday morning was Jerry Cook. He is 72 years old, an author and grandfather. (OK so I might be a sucker for white haired men- they remind me of my grandfather-but he was my favorite). His passion was not weakened by age but rather his deliverance was strengthened by revelation. He ended to a standing ovation from a bunch of punk youth ministers who I'd say 75% were under the age of 30. Apparently the generation gap is way over there and we passed it up a long time ago. Passion in Christ is ageless.
Saturday afternoon we heard from Chad Veach. He is young man who pastors junior high, high school and college down in Pulayup. While he was going to college, he was a youth pastor at a church in East LA. There was a question and answer time before each message and the young man who introduced him asked him "What's it like going from gangsta to 4H?" He grew up in the foursquare church. His father is now running the foursquare district office for the northwest. My friend described his dad as the pastor to the pastors. Chad was excited to speak and made lots of inside jokes but at the heart was a passion encouraging young leaders to strive for a Godly standard (I am not talking about striving for perfection but rather striving for the ability to make God poppa-proud).
I said that each speaker left me with more questions but they are not questions in like I have to go seek the answers but rather questions I hope my actions are demonstrating.
From Chad Veach: He gave us a run down he called 10 Essentials for Leadership (Faith, Bible time, Prayer, Character, Patience, Humility, Work ethic, Honor, Love, Friends and Family). My questions at the end were Am I seeking these traits, Am I asking for them, Am I making them a priority in my life.
From Jerry Cook: 4 questions:
1. Did Jesus ask me to do this?
2. Are you leaving something for the next generations heart?
3. How many people can you ask for what is really in your heart?
4. Are you asking what Jesus asked-"Is there anything I can do for you?"
From Kurt Harlow: just one question that went to the heart of special needs ministry:
What is the assumption of every child in your ministry? (Translation: what do you know to be true about every child.)
It was a good conference and if I just had these questions and thoughts to ponder on for the coming season, it would have been a successful weekend. But in the midst of all these questions, God took a moment to turn my heart in another direction...Give me a couple more days and I think I will be able to share what that means...like I said I am not an out loud processor.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Stealing the Birthday Glee: Part 2
Tonight, I am printing off invitation for the Exceptional Place Birthday Extravaganza! We are having a party for all the Exceptional Kids at church and going to celebrate what amazing kids God has created. It seemed like a perfect time to finish telling you about my birthday party.
It was the best birthday party I have ever had. I don't know if I can really explain all the joy and love I received in these 2 very short hours. I had asked my family and friends if on my birthday, we could spend it with the kids from my class. We had talked in the past about having a bowling party for Exceptional Place as bowling has quickly become one of our favorite past time. Both in class (with a small set) and out of class (see Monkey Toots and Other Compliments).
We had so many birthdays and events to celebrate this summer, it seemed like perfect timing. We invited families and friends and a few of the kids and set out to bowl a few frames for the afternoon....
We took over the bowling alley (the poor management). It was truly joyful chaos and I loved every minute of it (minus the phone call from Sandi telling me about Brandon's broken leg). There was 4 lanes with at least 6 people on each lane and a few extras milling about here and there. It was a great time and here are just a few moments that stand out:
Bailey kissing my ball and "helping" me bowl as she asks a thousand questions a million miles a minute. I love that girl! I think she is has the enthusiasm of Cookie Monster paired with a hug that would...bowl you over (pun intended).
Isaac sneaking up behind me and "scaring" me every 2 minutes. Isaac can't sneak up on anything to save his life. My little piece of joy was pretending to be scared every time and watching the smile and giggle it brought to him. Isaac's parents wrote me a beautiful card and Isaac had signed his name with a heart because he said "I love you and you are so pretty." I love this kid.
Hanna's mom didn't know there was a ramp where Hanna could bowl too. We rolled Hanna up to the ramp in her wheelchair, put the ball in place and helped her bowl for the first time. The smile on her face was priceless and heavenly. Hanna bowled her first "strike" that day! It was the best birthday present I ever had.
I hope someday you all will experience the kind of love and joy I experienced this birthday. It had started out as a rough weekend but with loving care and tenacity that is gripping, I think the Lord went right out and stole my Birthday Glee back for me. Sunday night at church, Caroline sang a song which reminded me of this weekend:
It was the best birthday party I have ever had. I don't know if I can really explain all the joy and love I received in these 2 very short hours. I had asked my family and friends if on my birthday, we could spend it with the kids from my class. We had talked in the past about having a bowling party for Exceptional Place as bowling has quickly become one of our favorite past time. Both in class (with a small set) and out of class (see Monkey Toots and Other Compliments).
We had so many birthdays and events to celebrate this summer, it seemed like perfect timing. We invited families and friends and a few of the kids and set out to bowl a few frames for the afternoon....
We took over the bowling alley (the poor management). It was truly joyful chaos and I loved every minute of it (minus the phone call from Sandi telling me about Brandon's broken leg). There was 4 lanes with at least 6 people on each lane and a few extras milling about here and there. It was a great time and here are just a few moments that stand out:
Bailey kissing my ball and "helping" me bowl as she asks a thousand questions a million miles a minute. I love that girl! I think she is has the enthusiasm of Cookie Monster paired with a hug that would...bowl you over (pun intended).
Isaac sneaking up behind me and "scaring" me every 2 minutes. Isaac can't sneak up on anything to save his life. My little piece of joy was pretending to be scared every time and watching the smile and giggle it brought to him. Isaac's parents wrote me a beautiful card and Isaac had signed his name with a heart because he said "I love you and you are so pretty." I love this kid.
Hanna's mom didn't know there was a ramp where Hanna could bowl too. We rolled Hanna up to the ramp in her wheelchair, put the ball in place and helped her bowl for the first time. The smile on her face was priceless and heavenly. Hanna bowled her first "strike" that day! It was the best birthday present I ever had.
I hope someday you all will experience the kind of love and joy I experienced this birthday. It had started out as a rough weekend but with loving care and tenacity that is gripping, I think the Lord went right out and stole my Birthday Glee back for me. Sunday night at church, Caroline sang a song which reminded me of this weekend:
Turn your eyes to Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His Glory and Grace.
All of my problems seem dim when I look into these faces that love me and see the light of Jesus shine through.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Stealing the Birthday Glee Back: Part 1
I don't like my birthday and I really don't like telling people it's my birthday. I like to pretend it doesn't exist. I have even thrown myself a couple of reverse "surprise" birthdays, meaning I invite others over and don't tell them it's my birthday until much later (sometimes days later, I had to stop doing that because several people got mad about this, I don't know why though). I think it all started because I didn't like myself for so many years that celebrating a day about me was more painful than joyful. So needless to say I get a little glum around this time of year.
This year seemed to start out no different. Friday, I left my house only to discover my car was broken into and my rear driver side door was smashed to little itty bitty bits. It wasn't what I needed that morning. I had already planned to purchase new tires that evening (which equalled mucho mucho $$$). I was going to spend the last day in my office at work and this was also the day of a major upgrade for our computer system; all the work we normally do in a days time had to be done an hour earlier than normal. So spending 2 hours- cleaning up the mess of glass littering my parking lot, filing a police report, contacting my insurance and finding a shop to fix my door- wasn't what I had in mind. I left work early and tried to get to a shop by 4 to fix the window. Nearly 4 hours and $1000 later, my window is fixed and I have new tires that I don't yet appreciate (maybe someday, sigh). What a truly horrible day and a terrible way to start out my birthday weekend. I went to bed early and prayed I had a little peace.
Then yesterday, September 11th remembrances...all the memorials and tributes...they are beautiful and touching but it just really sent me into a spiral right down the toilet.
This morning, my sweet sweet Brandon hurt himself. This is a little boy in my class. I adore this kid. He is so charming that even when his snot is running down his nose and he is telling me fart jokes, it's all I can do not to laugh. [OK, secretly, I love fart jokes and poop jokes, and snot but don't tell him that, I have to be a good influence] He fell and broke his leg in 2 parts, how this happened we just don't know. He even fell on one of our mats that we use for safety with the swing. I am going to want to cushion the entire room after this.
At second service, I had a hard time getting the kids to settle and by the time I did get them to settle, it was over. There are moments (more than not) that I feel like a failure or an idiot or crazy or all three in the middle of class. It was a hard morning, so very hard... I earned my stripes today (not that I have any stripes but if I did I would have earned them today). As I headed out to a birthday party with my team and some families from class, my heart was heavy. I wanted to cry and give up and leave.
But I remembered a conversation I had with a parent of one of our kids yesterday. She called to say they couldn't make it to the party but really wanted too. We talked for about 20minutes, connecting about what was going on in their lives and mine. She said "This has been the best time of church going we have ever had because John is in a place where people appreciate him for where he is right now. Of course, we want him to be the best he can be but you all understand him and appreciate who he is." He had recently been worried about going to a new school and he told his mom "I don't have to worry because God is with me and he will help me." She thought he had gotten this from my class and thanked me for teaching her son.
This is the reason I do what I do. Beyond the hardship and the challenges and frustrations, this is the reason God has called me to love these kids. John having a peace and knowledge that God loves him and will help him...it's an answer to my prayers, to my hopes and dreams. It's everything that matters.
When I was ready to give up this morning, I had to give myself John's reminder and cling to the peace I so often pray for others. My God loves me fiercely. I felt my joy coming back...
Then came the party! Wait until I tell you all about the best birthday bash I have ever had. (So it wasn't just my birthday party, I did share it with others. We had 3 people have birthdays this last week and a big birthday in August, then this summer had a wedding, three graduations and 2 volunteers leaving for school this month. Plus we were going bowling and you know how we love to bowl. We were ready to party!).
It's going to have to wait because the dog needs to go out and it's late. Know that this birthday weekend ends with a great deal more delight and joy!
This year seemed to start out no different. Friday, I left my house only to discover my car was broken into and my rear driver side door was smashed to little itty bitty bits. It wasn't what I needed that morning. I had already planned to purchase new tires that evening (which equalled mucho mucho $$$). I was going to spend the last day in my office at work and this was also the day of a major upgrade for our computer system; all the work we normally do in a days time had to be done an hour earlier than normal. So spending 2 hours- cleaning up the mess of glass littering my parking lot, filing a police report, contacting my insurance and finding a shop to fix my door- wasn't what I had in mind. I left work early and tried to get to a shop by 4 to fix the window. Nearly 4 hours and $1000 later, my window is fixed and I have new tires that I don't yet appreciate (maybe someday, sigh). What a truly horrible day and a terrible way to start out my birthday weekend. I went to bed early and prayed I had a little peace.
Then yesterday, September 11th remembrances...all the memorials and tributes...they are beautiful and touching but it just really sent me into a spiral right down the toilet.
This morning, my sweet sweet Brandon hurt himself. This is a little boy in my class. I adore this kid. He is so charming that even when his snot is running down his nose and he is telling me fart jokes, it's all I can do not to laugh. [OK, secretly, I love fart jokes and poop jokes, and snot but don't tell him that, I have to be a good influence] He fell and broke his leg in 2 parts, how this happened we just don't know. He even fell on one of our mats that we use for safety with the swing. I am going to want to cushion the entire room after this.
At second service, I had a hard time getting the kids to settle and by the time I did get them to settle, it was over. There are moments (more than not) that I feel like a failure or an idiot or crazy or all three in the middle of class. It was a hard morning, so very hard... I earned my stripes today (not that I have any stripes but if I did I would have earned them today). As I headed out to a birthday party with my team and some families from class, my heart was heavy. I wanted to cry and give up and leave.
But I remembered a conversation I had with a parent of one of our kids yesterday. She called to say they couldn't make it to the party but really wanted too. We talked for about 20minutes, connecting about what was going on in their lives and mine. She said "This has been the best time of church going we have ever had because John is in a place where people appreciate him for where he is right now. Of course, we want him to be the best he can be but you all understand him and appreciate who he is." He had recently been worried about going to a new school and he told his mom "I don't have to worry because God is with me and he will help me." She thought he had gotten this from my class and thanked me for teaching her son.
This is the reason I do what I do. Beyond the hardship and the challenges and frustrations, this is the reason God has called me to love these kids. John having a peace and knowledge that God loves him and will help him...it's an answer to my prayers, to my hopes and dreams. It's everything that matters.
When I was ready to give up this morning, I had to give myself John's reminder and cling to the peace I so often pray for others. My God loves me fiercely. I felt my joy coming back...
Then came the party! Wait until I tell you all about the best birthday bash I have ever had. (So it wasn't just my birthday party, I did share it with others. We had 3 people have birthdays this last week and a big birthday in August, then this summer had a wedding, three graduations and 2 volunteers leaving for school this month. Plus we were going bowling and you know how we love to bowl. We were ready to party!).
It's going to have to wait because the dog needs to go out and it's late. Know that this birthday weekend ends with a great deal more delight and joy!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
High Maintenance Love
I am in this season of change. I am moving closer to being the girl God wants me to be and it's the hardest thing ever, laying down the baggage of the past and picking up the habits of the King. I don't know if you know this or not but God is high maintenance! Loving Him is hard work...but it's also the best 'work' I have ever done. I don't know how I went so long without that personal relationship with him. I can't imagine not talking with Him daily anymore.
The other day, I was reading in Psalms and I came a cross a verse which just matched how I was feeling. I was surprise and pleased...He knew how I was going to feel on this day way in advance. He prepared my eyes to see this verse in this one moment. I felt like He was waiting for me. I often feel like He is waiting for me. In the past, I have felt guilty for this, Especially when He has to tell me something many times (many many many times). Now I just feel loved.
While God may be high maintenance and require an effort to know him on our part, He also love us with a High maintenance love. He loves us beyond our screw ups and mess ups. He loves us even without us loving him. He will bring together all of humanity and time to win the heart of one of his children. He constantly waits for us because he has prepared the steps ahead for us. He nudges or provokes us until we are in the one spot where he can reach us. While he is ahead preparing our way to him, he is also walking beside us in our journey.
It's the Highest Maintenance Love that can be found. It was there before our world was created and will be there always. I am so grateful for it. I never want to stop being surprised and pleased by His Love.
"We’re ready to study God, eager for God-knowledge. As sure as dawn breaks, so sure is his daily arrival. He comes as rain comes, as spring rain refreshing the ground.” Hosea 6:3
The other day, I was reading in Psalms and I came a cross a verse which just matched how I was feeling. I was surprise and pleased...He knew how I was going to feel on this day way in advance. He prepared my eyes to see this verse in this one moment. I felt like He was waiting for me. I often feel like He is waiting for me. In the past, I have felt guilty for this, Especially when He has to tell me something many times (many many many times). Now I just feel loved.
While God may be high maintenance and require an effort to know him on our part, He also love us with a High maintenance love. He loves us beyond our screw ups and mess ups. He loves us even without us loving him. He will bring together all of humanity and time to win the heart of one of his children. He constantly waits for us because he has prepared the steps ahead for us. He nudges or provokes us until we are in the one spot where he can reach us. While he is ahead preparing our way to him, he is also walking beside us in our journey.
It's the Highest Maintenance Love that can be found. It was there before our world was created and will be there always. I am so grateful for it. I never want to stop being surprised and pleased by His Love.
"We’re ready to study God, eager for God-knowledge. As sure as dawn breaks, so sure is his daily arrival. He comes as rain comes, as spring rain refreshing the ground.” Hosea 6:3
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Waiting with random thoughts
I Am trying to start working. Restarting my computer for the third time. Just thinking about the hope of the day.
I enjoyed last night, sitting around talking with friends and watching a bad movie. Making fun of each other in a joyful way, in the way only people who love you can.
I was laughing yesterday at a patient. She's 90 and went to open her bedroom window and told me "I will open my window now, I have the correct technology for that." Then she noticed I had to take her vitals and she needed to stand still, she said it again "I have the right technology for that." I said yes her two feet. She thought that was funny. This is the same lady who tells me " Don't pick up any naked hitchhikers or take any wooden nickels." Both of which seem self evident.
Oh the funny stories I hear when I am working. Speaking of which I better get back to work now that my computer has finished restarting for the third time.
Thanks for listening to the random thoughts of Aimee Lu.
I enjoyed last night, sitting around talking with friends and watching a bad movie. Making fun of each other in a joyful way, in the way only people who love you can.
I was laughing yesterday at a patient. She's 90 and went to open her bedroom window and told me "I will open my window now, I have the correct technology for that." Then she noticed I had to take her vitals and she needed to stand still, she said it again "I have the right technology for that." I said yes her two feet. She thought that was funny. This is the same lady who tells me " Don't pick up any naked hitchhikers or take any wooden nickels." Both of which seem self evident.
Oh the funny stories I hear when I am working. Speaking of which I better get back to work now that my computer has finished restarting for the third time.
Thanks for listening to the random thoughts of Aimee Lu.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Loving by Faith-Teaching by Braille
I love what I do. I really truly mean that. I love being a nurse and taking care of people. I love the physical labor of caring for someone who can't care for themselves. There is beauty in it. Wither its taking care of a wound or teaching a five year old about his diabetes or wiping a bottom on the old and the frail, it's the everyday thing that says "You are caring for one of God's children. You are His hands." It's a privilege and joy even on the hard days.
While I love this job, my true joy comes in a classroom of special needs children every Sunday morning. They are the broken (truth be told, we are all broken just like them but their brokenness doesn't fit in the realm of what is culturally normal or accepted). Some are physically disabled, some are developmentally disabled, some are socially disabled (meaning they don't know how to act around other people) and some are all three. I was asked why I have patience with these kids. I don't know. God has called me to love them for Him. I don't understand it but I will accept it and follow where he has led me. My heart leaps with the Joy He has provided me with these kids.
I often say in my class that it's our job to remember the blessings will always out weigh the challenges. I believe these kids aren't just here so their parents can get fed. They are here in our church because they are an important integral part of our church body. God has called them to be in our family and as such we will love them as He has asked.
Every child should have the word of God in their lives, even if you don't think they understand it, or even hear it. I believe God is bigger than what I can see and His words of love have power and strength in them. I don't want to stand in the way. Jesus is for everyone. I am not a filter for Jesus. I can’t just simply say we love you without also sharing the same words God has given you and me. We are here to share His love- all of it. I call this Teaching by Braille as I usually feel pretty blind in how I am going to reach them, but I ask the Lord to lead and I step out in faith. Most days I feel like I have failed but I continue to believe the Holy Spirit will work in their lives. I may never see how that happens but I will trust the Lord knows how. This has strengthened my faith in so many ways.
This summer we had been talking about creation. I don't have big lesson plans or stories. I am happy some Sundays when they make eye contact. Sometimes there are those who can participate in the story, but most of the time, these kids can’t. Some can’t speak or hear or see or understand or remember what I said five minutes before; I remember though their bodies and souls are broken, their spirit isn’t and just like you and me their spirit needs to be feed too. Nothing is too big for the Holy Spirit; no diagnosis, no disability, no challenge.
As I shared the story of creation, I simply focused on: God created everything, God created them, God loves them, and we love them. I believe in a God who doesn't make mistakes and these kids are not mistakes. Maybe their disabilities are consequences of living in a fallen world but they are not mistakes. They are children who are made in God's image. Our verse this summer echoes the love He feels for these kids:
God saw what He had made; and it was good, so very good.
Genesis 1:31-
God created them and he loves them and while I don't understand why they are made the way they are, I know His plan and purpose is beyond perfect:
It’s good, so very good!
As I am called to love like His Son, I get the privilege of celebrating these magnificent children of the creator of the universe.
Let me encourage you tonight to love big.
Love Big and the Lord will provide.
Love by faith and the Lord will lead.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Monkey Toots and other compliments
Yep, folks, I said it "Monkey Toots" and it's a compliment, trust me:
In February, my church honored me with an award for following one of our core values: loving. I have spent the last five years serving in a special needs Sunday school classroom. When I first started, we had eight kids and now we currently have 25 kids and 23 families. I was told I deserved it and I am doing a wonderful job "pastoring" these kids. It was a sweet award and I am grateful for it and the support from my church family. I felt encouraged to continue to Love like Jesus. And while this is more than enough, God continues to encourage me. Here are three compliments which stand out:
The first was when two woman who I respect tell me "Aimee, you are such a light in this world." In a time where I am struggling, it is good to know the light of Jesus always shines through. My God conquers all!
The second came when one of our kids came in the class and says "Aimee, you're my best friend and I brought you a surprise." Then hands me a kit-kat bar. I am so in love with her. She calls me a friend and gives me chocolate. Who wouldn't be in love? Her mother also said "my family is so sweet." and when I agreed, she said "No, I am talking about you." I wanted to weep with joy. My God is magnificent!
The 3rd came in the form of two little boys who thought they were up to no good. Last weekend I took Isaac, a 14 year old boy with down syndrome and Dalton, a 10 year old boy with multiple physical and developmental issues, bowling. I have known Dalton for 7 years now, I started out as a nurse and ended up as a part of the family. In the past year, I have gotten to take him for a weekend once a month or so and just spend some time with him. He thinks it's just for him but truth be told, I think I have as much fun as he does.
He had asked all weekend if we could go bowling with Isaac and I kept saying "we'll see." Then Sunday, he asked Isaac's mom, she was swamped at home and thought she would pass. I said I would take the boys and her and her husband could get some stuff done at home. We went to a small place near my house. Ordered pizza and bowled a few frames. They had a blast. It didn't matter if they would hit the pins or throw the ball in the wrong lane (seriously, this happened twice). You could hear them from any part of the bowling alley. They cheered themselves on, they cheered for the kid on one side or the group of twenty somethings on the other side and they cheered for me. They cheered for me the loudest; All I had to do was stand up there and drop the ball and they were yelling "Yahoo! Good Job Aimee! Way to Go!" They did a little dance when I bowled a strike. One woman came up to me asked how I knew them because these kids adored me. I don't think I have laughed that hard in a long time.
On the way home, they were making animal noises in the back seat. I would guess what kind of animals I had...I think I hear elephants...I think I hear cows...I think I hear monkeys. Then I made the mistake of saying "I think I smell monkeys in the back seat." They thought that was hilarious. Isaac told me "Aimee, you smell like a dog." I was trying not to laugh as I pretended to be flabbergasted by this. They were giving each other high fives in the backseat and snorting with laughter. I asked if I couldn't smell like cupcakes instead or cotton candy or chocolate (or other food words that start with a c) but they said no and tried to out do each other in telling me what I smell like. Dalton says "You smell like a camel." High-five. Isaac says "You smell like a lion." Another high-five. Dalton again, "You smell like a monkey." Now they have moved on to fist bumps.
Then Isaac says the grand daddy of them all, "Aimee, you smell like monkey toots."
I almost snorted in laughter. It was hard to keep a straight face. After we dropped Isaac home, I told Dalton I couldn't believe they had said I smell like monkey toots. And Dalton in all seriousness, tells me "Aimee, it's a compliment, it's a compliment in our heads."
In February, my church honored me with an award for following one of our core values: loving. I have spent the last five years serving in a special needs Sunday school classroom. When I first started, we had eight kids and now we currently have 25 kids and 23 families. I was told I deserved it and I am doing a wonderful job "pastoring" these kids. It was a sweet award and I am grateful for it and the support from my church family. I felt encouraged to continue to Love like Jesus. And while this is more than enough, God continues to encourage me. Here are three compliments which stand out:
The first was when two woman who I respect tell me "Aimee, you are such a light in this world." In a time where I am struggling, it is good to know the light of Jesus always shines through. My God conquers all!
The second came when one of our kids came in the class and says "Aimee, you're my best friend and I brought you a surprise." Then hands me a kit-kat bar. I am so in love with her. She calls me a friend and gives me chocolate. Who wouldn't be in love? Her mother also said "my family is so sweet." and when I agreed, she said "No, I am talking about you." I wanted to weep with joy. My God is magnificent!
The 3rd came in the form of two little boys who thought they were up to no good. Last weekend I took Isaac, a 14 year old boy with down syndrome and Dalton, a 10 year old boy with multiple physical and developmental issues, bowling. I have known Dalton for 7 years now, I started out as a nurse and ended up as a part of the family. In the past year, I have gotten to take him for a weekend once a month or so and just spend some time with him. He thinks it's just for him but truth be told, I think I have as much fun as he does.
He had asked all weekend if we could go bowling with Isaac and I kept saying "we'll see." Then Sunday, he asked Isaac's mom, she was swamped at home and thought she would pass. I said I would take the boys and her and her husband could get some stuff done at home. We went to a small place near my house. Ordered pizza and bowled a few frames. They had a blast. It didn't matter if they would hit the pins or throw the ball in the wrong lane (seriously, this happened twice). You could hear them from any part of the bowling alley. They cheered themselves on, they cheered for the kid on one side or the group of twenty somethings on the other side and they cheered for me. They cheered for me the loudest; All I had to do was stand up there and drop the ball and they were yelling "Yahoo! Good Job Aimee! Way to Go!" They did a little dance when I bowled a strike. One woman came up to me asked how I knew them because these kids adored me. I don't think I have laughed that hard in a long time.
On the way home, they were making animal noises in the back seat. I would guess what kind of animals I had...I think I hear elephants...I think I hear cows...I think I hear monkeys. Then I made the mistake of saying "I think I smell monkeys in the back seat." They thought that was hilarious. Isaac told me "Aimee, you smell like a dog." I was trying not to laugh as I pretended to be flabbergasted by this. They were giving each other high fives in the backseat and snorting with laughter. I asked if I couldn't smell like cupcakes instead or cotton candy or chocolate (or other food words that start with a c) but they said no and tried to out do each other in telling me what I smell like. Dalton says "You smell like a camel." High-five. Isaac says "You smell like a lion." Another high-five. Dalton again, "You smell like a monkey." Now they have moved on to fist bumps.
Then Isaac says the grand daddy of them all, "Aimee, you smell like monkey toots."
I almost snorted in laughter. It was hard to keep a straight face. After we dropped Isaac home, I told Dalton I couldn't believe they had said I smell like monkey toots. And Dalton in all seriousness, tells me "Aimee, it's a compliment, it's a compliment in our heads."
Apparently, God has a sense of humor because this is my love language: 2 little boys telling me I smell like horrible animal bi-products and it's a compliment.
My God loves me! I am reminded of Psalm 23: My cup over flows. Tonight my heart over flows.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Word Art or Translation part 2
I began by rewriting a famous Psalm and ended up with an art piece. All along it felt like worship. God speaks in so many ways. How amazing!
I once said when first reading the Message that I couldn't imagine being bold enough to attempt to 'rewrite' God's words...I need to be more careful what I say. Here I am spending the evening with a personal translation from the Lord. What freedom there is in His unending Love!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Translation
Psalm 23
A David Psalm
1-3 God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
4 Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
I'm not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd's crook
makes me feel secure.
5 You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.
6 Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.
Psalm 23
An Aimee Song
My prayer for tonight:
God, my constant provider! I don't need a thing.
You have put me to rest in the bed of your arms,
you find me quiet times to fill my thirst.
True to your promises, you let me catch my breath
and correct the direction of my heart.
Even when the path to bring me closer to you
leads me through darkness,
I'm not afraid when you walk me through it.
Your love draws me in and makes me feel secure.
You care for my needs beyond my imagination
even in front of those who do me harm.
You revive my broken heart;
my life brims with blessing.
Your beauty and love chase after me
every day, every hour, every moment of my life.
I'm where I belong,
home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.
A David Psalm
1-3 God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
4 Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
I'm not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd's crook
makes me feel secure.
5 You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.
6 Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.
Psalm 23
An Aimee Song
My prayer for tonight:
God, my constant provider! I don't need a thing.
You have put me to rest in the bed of your arms,
you find me quiet times to fill my thirst.
True to your promises, you let me catch my breath
and correct the direction of my heart.
Even when the path to bring me closer to you
leads me through darkness,
I'm not afraid when you walk me through it.
Your love draws me in and makes me feel secure.
You care for my needs beyond my imagination
even in front of those who do me harm.
You revive my broken heart;
my life brims with blessing.
Your beauty and love chase after me
every day, every hour, every moment of my life.
I'm where I belong,
home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Bragging on Jesus
I just wanted to share how fabulous my Sunday was and it really was all because of Jesus. I am so broken right now, emotionally, spiritually, physically; I am just spent from the last several months and add Kids Camp last week, you can add exhaustion and an twisted knee. I wouldn't have gotten through today without Jesus on my side or rather one step ahead of me.
Here is a list of how I saw him move:
1. Slept in until 9:25 but managed to make it to church by 9:45, before parents and kids.
2. My 2 volunteers at the 10 o'clock service were early.
3. I had an extra volunteer show up which was greatly needed with 5 kids and one of our girls was off her meds.
4. The girl off her meds had a good morning, without major meltdowns.
5. The parent volunteer who starting helping in the class was amazing and is willing to help again.
6. We had the best giggles and when it was time to leave, one of our kids goes "I want to stay here forever."
7. The new volunteer starting at the 11:30 service, showed up 30mins early, walked in and without needing much directions, starting playing with kids, no hesitation or fear.
8. The new volunteer managed to get one of our most challenging kids to play with him. This kid usually plays only by himself, we have not been able to get him to engage easily and many times when he does, the play turns destructive. Not today.
9. This kid finally made it all the way through worship. Kids worship is only 3 songs but he has not been able to stay in the room for the whole time. This has been a 5 month long process which today we had success.
10. This kid also made it through story time without losing it.
11. We were finally able to transition one of our kids into the 3s classroom without a problem for the first time. I was even able to leave after 30mins and then got a 25min break to be able to chat and talk with friends.
12. I was watching one of our kids who never smiles, crack a smile and when I pointed it out to his mom that he was smiling, instead of stopping and denying he was smiling like he would normally do, he cracks up giggling. As he left, we heard the whole family laughing down the hall. It was a great moment.
OK as I am writing this I am shaking my head because even I don't believe this list...but it goes on.
13. I had one of my favorite volunteers and my dear friend show up to say hi. She is taking a 6 month break which may turn out to be a permanent break and the Lord is preparing my heart for what my head already knows. I was so excited to see her. I hugged her and started crying, then she starting crying. Her husband had to walk down the hallway because we were making a fool of ourselves. But it was fabulous.
14. I heard a major praise report from a parent and I am so thankful to hear a prayer answered in a big way from the Lord.
15. The new volunteer asked if he could come back every Sunday.
16. The new (most amazing) volunteer offered to take over vacuuming my classroom every week.
17. The new (super most amazing) volunteer insisted on helping me unload my car from all the camp stuff.
18. The new (gift from God super most amazing) volunteer on the second trip from unloading my car from all the camp stuff, told me "Thanks for letting me serve. I have a servant's heart and it's great to have the opportunity."
Seriously, I am not making this up. It will probably go on "the top 10 moments of my ministry time" list and it goes on.
19. Susan Boucard had a word for me that was tremendous. Thank you.
20. Caroline Foster lead evening worship. Caroline never leads evening worship. It was amazing and I am pretty sure she was there just for me.
21. MaryAnn Cates...need I say more.
22. I received two unexpected Thank yous. They are always nice to hear.
This was truly the most incredible day from my most incredible Savior. To add to all of this, I had a good hair day and managed a nap. I just wanted to share and brag on Jesus a little.
Love Aimee
Here is a list of how I saw him move:
1. Slept in until 9:25 but managed to make it to church by 9:45, before parents and kids.
2. My 2 volunteers at the 10 o'clock service were early.
3. I had an extra volunteer show up which was greatly needed with 5 kids and one of our girls was off her meds.
4. The girl off her meds had a good morning, without major meltdowns.
5. The parent volunteer who starting helping in the class was amazing and is willing to help again.
6. We had the best giggles and when it was time to leave, one of our kids goes "I want to stay here forever."
7. The new volunteer starting at the 11:30 service, showed up 30mins early, walked in and without needing much directions, starting playing with kids, no hesitation or fear.
8. The new volunteer managed to get one of our most challenging kids to play with him. This kid usually plays only by himself, we have not been able to get him to engage easily and many times when he does, the play turns destructive. Not today.
9. This kid finally made it all the way through worship. Kids worship is only 3 songs but he has not been able to stay in the room for the whole time. This has been a 5 month long process which today we had success.
10. This kid also made it through story time without losing it.
11. We were finally able to transition one of our kids into the 3s classroom without a problem for the first time. I was even able to leave after 30mins and then got a 25min break to be able to chat and talk with friends.
12. I was watching one of our kids who never smiles, crack a smile and when I pointed it out to his mom that he was smiling, instead of stopping and denying he was smiling like he would normally do, he cracks up giggling. As he left, we heard the whole family laughing down the hall. It was a great moment.
OK as I am writing this I am shaking my head because even I don't believe this list...but it goes on.
13. I had one of my favorite volunteers and my dear friend show up to say hi. She is taking a 6 month break which may turn out to be a permanent break and the Lord is preparing my heart for what my head already knows. I was so excited to see her. I hugged her and started crying, then she starting crying. Her husband had to walk down the hallway because we were making a fool of ourselves. But it was fabulous.
14. I heard a major praise report from a parent and I am so thankful to hear a prayer answered in a big way from the Lord.
15. The new volunteer asked if he could come back every Sunday.
16. The new (most amazing) volunteer offered to take over vacuuming my classroom every week.
17. The new (super most amazing) volunteer insisted on helping me unload my car from all the camp stuff.
18. The new (gift from God super most amazing) volunteer on the second trip from unloading my car from all the camp stuff, told me "Thanks for letting me serve. I have a servant's heart and it's great to have the opportunity."
Seriously, I am not making this up. It will probably go on "the top 10 moments of my ministry time" list and it goes on.
19. Susan Boucard had a word for me that was tremendous. Thank you.
20. Caroline Foster lead evening worship. Caroline never leads evening worship. It was amazing and I am pretty sure she was there just for me.
21. MaryAnn Cates...need I say more.
22. I received two unexpected Thank yous. They are always nice to hear.
This was truly the most incredible day from my most incredible Savior. To add to all of this, I had a good hair day and managed a nap. I just wanted to share and brag on Jesus a little.
Love Aimee
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Swimming in Liquid Glory
I am impatient. I don't like to wait for change to happen. I don't like a slow process or many steps. I want change to happen with a snap of the finger or a blink (oh to be Samantha from Bewitch! wiggle your nose and get what you want, that would be amazing!). Yet I was thrilled several months ago reading this verse in 1 Peter:
Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.
Glory just around the corner? Seriously. I live in a world where 7-11 is just around the corner, Applebees is your neighborhood bar and grill, Wal-Mart has it all and for a bargain, and if that doesn't work, Amazon delivers. Peter is talking about God being around the corner, his Glory? Really? just around the corner? My corner? That sounds too easy?
I would meagerly define God's glory as seeing, hearing, touching, smelling God, Knowing he exists from every pore of your body but that just doesn't even begin to define it. I know in my limited, blinded time on this earth, I have had moments where God has shown me His Glory and I have been moved to tears and trembled in the sight of it. The old Testament says Moses was allowed to see a glimpse of God's glory but to see the face of God would kill a man. I think maybe I have seen a sliver of a sliver of an ant's toe nail of God's glory. Yet it has drawn me in like it's a tornado stirring up everything in it's path. I want to seek it out and find it again and again and again. And when I read that His Glory is just around the corner...well, this makes me want to hunt it, like its' some treasure marked with an x. I want to go running around my block until I run right into it. I want to swim in his glory from head to toe and roll around in it until it takes my breath away. I am excited with the hope of it.
For days after this, I dreamt about a big bowl of liquid glory which engulfed me and comforted me and thrilled me. All I could focus on was His Glory. I was promised it was just around the corner...
God's glory isn't something I earn or deserve. His glory is already paid for and given though the radiance which is His Son on the cross. I get to participate in it. I simply get to walk in a path designed to bring me closer everyday. And this verse reminds me to take comfort that this path is thick and heavy with problems, frustrations, heartbreaks, detours, mountains and mole hills, loses and devastation, catastrophes, disasters, difficulties, impossibilities and improbabilities. But all of those things don't matter.
You know why?
Glory is just around the corner.
Lord,
Thank you for filling me with hope tonight.
Reminding me of the promises a life lived with you is worth.
For wetting my taste buds with glory that is yet to come.
For radiating your Father's love in your death.
I pray I continue to walk the path you have laid out for me.
Help me clinge to the hope of your words.
In your might name.
Amen.
Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.
Glory just around the corner? Seriously. I live in a world where 7-11 is just around the corner, Applebees is your neighborhood bar and grill, Wal-Mart has it all and for a bargain, and if that doesn't work, Amazon delivers. Peter is talking about God being around the corner, his Glory? Really? just around the corner? My corner? That sounds too easy?
I would meagerly define God's glory as seeing, hearing, touching, smelling God, Knowing he exists from every pore of your body but that just doesn't even begin to define it. I know in my limited, blinded time on this earth, I have had moments where God has shown me His Glory and I have been moved to tears and trembled in the sight of it. The old Testament says Moses was allowed to see a glimpse of God's glory but to see the face of God would kill a man. I think maybe I have seen a sliver of a sliver of an ant's toe nail of God's glory. Yet it has drawn me in like it's a tornado stirring up everything in it's path. I want to seek it out and find it again and again and again. And when I read that His Glory is just around the corner...well, this makes me want to hunt it, like its' some treasure marked with an x. I want to go running around my block until I run right into it. I want to swim in his glory from head to toe and roll around in it until it takes my breath away. I am excited with the hope of it.
For days after this, I dreamt about a big bowl of liquid glory which engulfed me and comforted me and thrilled me. All I could focus on was His Glory. I was promised it was just around the corner...
God's glory isn't something I earn or deserve. His glory is already paid for and given though the radiance which is His Son on the cross. I get to participate in it. I simply get to walk in a path designed to bring me closer everyday. And this verse reminds me to take comfort that this path is thick and heavy with problems, frustrations, heartbreaks, detours, mountains and mole hills, loses and devastation, catastrophes, disasters, difficulties, impossibilities and improbabilities. But all of those things don't matter.
You know why?
Glory is just around the corner.
Lord,
Thank you for filling me with hope tonight.
Reminding me of the promises a life lived with you is worth.
For wetting my taste buds with glory that is yet to come.
For radiating your Father's love in your death.
I pray I continue to walk the path you have laid out for me.
Help me clinge to the hope of your words.
In your might name.
Amen.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Loving the exceptional and lessons learned
My heart bubbles over tonight. I have been serving in a special needs sunday school for the past five years. I love this class. This is where kids who don't fit in, get to fit in...fit right in the arms of Christ, excatly where they were made to fit. I love this class. Loving these kids and sharing the love of Jesus with them fills me up, even when it wears me out.
This class was started 7 or 8 years ago in my church. Just a place that parents who attended service could leave their special needs child. After a year of attending New life, there was a notice in the bullentin about serving in Exceptional Kids. I thought to myself "Oh...I am a nurse...I can help with that." There were 8 kids in the class, all with different needs and conditions. I had been working with kids with special needs in my job for several years at that point, even attending school and sunday school with them. I saw the need to love these kids and was happy to help my church in this way. No big deal, right?
Wrong. I should have know God would change my life, my relationships, my heart.
When I started, I had trouble loving those in my life who God had called me to love, namely my brother. My brother is an Exceptional person. Diagnosed with a mental illness when he was younger, he has been in and out of hospitals, jails, homeless shelters, rehabs and in and out of our family. We went over a year without seeing him and knowing where he was. One of my worst memories is of sitting outside of his room, waiting for his medication to kick in, listening to him scream for over 30 minutes that someone was trying to kill him, he was all alone in the room at the time. I struggled with seeing my brother outside of his diagnosis and his disease. All I saw was this all consuming disease which had destroyed his life and many of our family moments. I was ready to give up and not love him at all. I was rock bottom in our relationship, my well was completely dry.
I had a conversation with my mom when I started in Exceptional Kids about loving these kids because sometimes it was too hard to love my brother. I started working with these kids and sharing Jesus with them. It's a challege some sundays, when they don't want to make eye contact, don't always respond or talk or walk, or they say or do something uncomfortable. I mean really how do you share Jesus with a kid who doesn't talk except by the grace of God. I have come to see these kids are made whole by the love of Christ. I know they are amazing and made in the image of God, just like you and me. He has created them for a purpose and a plan that is beyond my inkling. That's not to say I don't have moments where I am intimidated by the look and sound of a kid.
This happend one Sunday with a young man named Brandon. He is 19, autistic, blind, and deaf; he must walk with assistance and makes loud noises and spends most of the morning, gnawing on himself. Brandon is locked in his own little bubble. I looked at Brandon and had no clue what to do with him. I figured we would just be there to watch him as his mom and sister get a much needed break Sunday mornings. I didn't think anything I did in the class would help him. One Sunday, Brandon's mom came in to get him, we simply turned Brandon around to face her, Brandon immediately scooted to her and wrapped his arms around her. His face shinned with a peace and knowledge that he was loved and safe. As two of the volunteers and I stood there and watched, we were stunned, we had never seen this connection with him. And right there, I heard from the Lord..."Aimee, I am already here. All you must do is love him."
What is God if not love? (1 John 4:7-9)
Brandon may not ever say his name or tell his mom "I love you" or ever raise his hand to accept Jesus but he loves and recieves love. How can I not love him? How can I not love my brother?
I no longer love my brother out of obligation but out of a sense of joy. When I started in Exceptional kids, I started asking the Lord to love Danny (my brother) because I couldn't. I bargained with God, I will love these kids over here if you love him. Then after that moment with Brandon, I started asking him to show me how to love Danny, to grow my capacity to love. He answered BIG. I love Danny because he is Danny, beyond the disease and diagnosis, he is a sweet man who struggles and fails but who can and does recieve love.
My heart overflows tonight. I have learned so much from this class and my time with them. I see brokeness on a new level. We are all broken, sometimes on the inside, sometimes on the outside but the only thing that heals us and makes us whole, is the Love of Jesus.
Jesus is for everyone.
This class was started 7 or 8 years ago in my church. Just a place that parents who attended service could leave their special needs child. After a year of attending New life, there was a notice in the bullentin about serving in Exceptional Kids. I thought to myself "Oh...I am a nurse...I can help with that." There were 8 kids in the class, all with different needs and conditions. I had been working with kids with special needs in my job for several years at that point, even attending school and sunday school with them. I saw the need to love these kids and was happy to help my church in this way. No big deal, right?
Wrong. I should have know God would change my life, my relationships, my heart.
When I started, I had trouble loving those in my life who God had called me to love, namely my brother. My brother is an Exceptional person. Diagnosed with a mental illness when he was younger, he has been in and out of hospitals, jails, homeless shelters, rehabs and in and out of our family. We went over a year without seeing him and knowing where he was. One of my worst memories is of sitting outside of his room, waiting for his medication to kick in, listening to him scream for over 30 minutes that someone was trying to kill him, he was all alone in the room at the time. I struggled with seeing my brother outside of his diagnosis and his disease. All I saw was this all consuming disease which had destroyed his life and many of our family moments. I was ready to give up and not love him at all. I was rock bottom in our relationship, my well was completely dry.
I had a conversation with my mom when I started in Exceptional Kids about loving these kids because sometimes it was too hard to love my brother. I started working with these kids and sharing Jesus with them. It's a challege some sundays, when they don't want to make eye contact, don't always respond or talk or walk, or they say or do something uncomfortable. I mean really how do you share Jesus with a kid who doesn't talk except by the grace of God. I have come to see these kids are made whole by the love of Christ. I know they are amazing and made in the image of God, just like you and me. He has created them for a purpose and a plan that is beyond my inkling. That's not to say I don't have moments where I am intimidated by the look and sound of a kid.
This happend one Sunday with a young man named Brandon. He is 19, autistic, blind, and deaf; he must walk with assistance and makes loud noises and spends most of the morning, gnawing on himself. Brandon is locked in his own little bubble. I looked at Brandon and had no clue what to do with him. I figured we would just be there to watch him as his mom and sister get a much needed break Sunday mornings. I didn't think anything I did in the class would help him. One Sunday, Brandon's mom came in to get him, we simply turned Brandon around to face her, Brandon immediately scooted to her and wrapped his arms around her. His face shinned with a peace and knowledge that he was loved and safe. As two of the volunteers and I stood there and watched, we were stunned, we had never seen this connection with him. And right there, I heard from the Lord..."Aimee, I am already here. All you must do is love him."
What is God if not love? (1 John 4:7-9)
Brandon may not ever say his name or tell his mom "I love you" or ever raise his hand to accept Jesus but he loves and recieves love. How can I not love him? How can I not love my brother?
I no longer love my brother out of obligation but out of a sense of joy. When I started in Exceptional kids, I started asking the Lord to love Danny (my brother) because I couldn't. I bargained with God, I will love these kids over here if you love him. Then after that moment with Brandon, I started asking him to show me how to love Danny, to grow my capacity to love. He answered BIG. I love Danny because he is Danny, beyond the disease and diagnosis, he is a sweet man who struggles and fails but who can and does recieve love.
My heart overflows tonight. I have learned so much from this class and my time with them. I see brokeness on a new level. We are all broken, sometimes on the inside, sometimes on the outside but the only thing that heals us and makes us whole, is the Love of Jesus.
Jesus is for everyone.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Letter from God
I often wonder what it would be like to recieve a letter from God...
"Dear Aimee
I love you so much and I am so pleased with your desire to know me and love all who is in my family. Keep up the good work...and we still have a lot to do. We will do it together. We need to work on our time together (I love spending time with you, let's do it more). Remember to be patient and keep that tongue in check, girl. You have a temper but you have the biggest capacity to love. I know because I gave it to you. Haha!
Here are the things you have asked for: a growing thriving ministry, support and love from your church family and the oppurtunity to love more. By the way you will need help reaching teenagers with special needs, so I am sending you a special ed high school teacher. You didn't ask for it, but I know what you need. When you need something more, you just have to ask. I will bring it or I won't. When you think I don't answer a prayer, it's because I have a plan that you don't understand. Trust me, my strength is bigger than your imagination.
Just to let you know, I will be there the whole way with you. You are not alone. You never will be my little chickadee! I love you my friend.
Love your God"
"Dear Aimee
I love you so much and I am so pleased with your desire to know me and love all who is in my family. Keep up the good work...and we still have a lot to do. We will do it together. We need to work on our time together (I love spending time with you, let's do it more). Remember to be patient and keep that tongue in check, girl. You have a temper but you have the biggest capacity to love. I know because I gave it to you. Haha!
Here are the things you have asked for: a growing thriving ministry, support and love from your church family and the oppurtunity to love more. By the way you will need help reaching teenagers with special needs, so I am sending you a special ed high school teacher. You didn't ask for it, but I know what you need. When you need something more, you just have to ask. I will bring it or I won't. When you think I don't answer a prayer, it's because I have a plan that you don't understand. Trust me, my strength is bigger than your imagination.
Just to let you know, I will be there the whole way with you. You are not alone. You never will be my little chickadee! I love you my friend.
Love your God"
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