Do you ever begin to question where you are in life? Wonderlust seems to be contagious. Dreaming about "what could be" use to be a favorite pastime. Yesterday though, I found I no longer want "what could be" but am content with "what is."
My job as a home health nurse or my time with the special needs ministry at church, I often find my self loving the unlovable, the ones society want to forget about. And while it would be easy for me compare the differences between them and me, it's the similiarities that always blow me away.
Yesterday, I found my self washing the body of someone who had been so addicted to drugs that they are left scared and mutilated, dying from the inside out from their addiction. I washed the feet of a man who served our country with pride and dedication but is now left in the hands of strangers to care for him. I assisted a woman who had raised children with love and compassion and now found herself living alone and is frightful for the end which is looming. Sunday, I know I will care of a child who does not speak or who does not walk. I will care for a child who hears voices and has delusions about aliens and invasions, who is so angry that he has begun to isolate himself at 8 years old and occasionally lives in his own little world. I will care of a child who can not see. I will care for a child who does not hear. While I can can care for them and say they are not like me, I really see they are the same. They want to laugh and love and live. They are loved by a God who does not see their differences or defects, but see His children and knows the intimate moments of their hearts.
Just like He sees mine...
I went to bed last night, feeling not drained from a long day but knowing I was used by God. My hands were not my own, my heart was expanded beyond my abilites to love. I thank God for the oppurtunity to love. And thank God for knowing the intimate moments of my heart.
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